Coaching practices for Ahimsa Non Violence as a Daily Practice After a Loss

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I say I care about not causing harm, but when I look honestly at what I eat and buy and how I treat the people serving me, there’s this gap between what I claim to value and how I actually live every day that’s started to nag at me.
  • I have to tell someone something hard and I’m stuck between two bad options
  • Under the grief there’s this protest
  • There’s one particular person I can’t even think about without my whole body tightening with resentment
  • The voice I turn on myself after I mess up is brutal in a way I’d never speak to anyone else

Practices that may help

  1. Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice
    Ahimsa — the principle of non-harming held across Jain, Hindu, and Patanjalian traditions — extends far beyond avoiding physical violence. As a daily practice it means bringing deliberate non-aggression to thought, speech, and action toward oneself and others. The practices are grounded in real psychological mechanisms: non-judgement reduces reactivity, compassion training builds prosocial capacity, and self-compassion buffers the shame that drives self-attack.
  2. Extending non-harming to daily choices
    Apply the ahimsa lens to one domain of daily life — diet, speech, consumption — and make one concrete adjustment.
    Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice
  3. Delivering honest feedback without cruelty
    Be completely truthful about a problem and completely non-cruel in how you deliver it.
    Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice
  4. Integrating loss through the lens of anicca
    When grieving a loss, ground the experience in the insight that what ended was always impermanent — and that grief itself is impermanent.
    Anicca: Working Practically with Impermanence
  5. Compassion meditation for widening the circle
    Extend deliberate well-wishing to people you find difficult, building non-aversion before you encounter them.
    Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice
  6. Ahimsa toward the self: replacing self-attack with self-compassion
    Treat yourself after a failure the way you would treat a good friend in the same situation.
    Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice
  7. Treating grief as a form of gratitude
    When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
    Mono no Aware: The Pathos of Things
  8. Responding to conflict without escalation
    In a conflict, address the problem without attacking the person.
    Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice
  9. Reframing loss as transformation
    When something ends or is lost, practise asking what it is becoming rather than only mourning what it was.
    Zhuangzi and the Practice of Perspective Shift
  10. Havening to soften acute grief activation
    Use gentle touch and brief distraction to lower the physiological intensity of grief surges.
    Self-Havening: Calming the Nervous System Through Touch

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