Coaching practices for How to Avoid Disappointing My Friend When I Criticize Her Writing
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Avoid Disappointing My Friend When I Criticize Her Writing, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I’d never speak to anyone else the way I speak to myself
- If a friend told me what I’m beating myself up over, I’d know exactly what kind thing to say to them
- Every time I point out what someone did wrong, they get defensive and dig in instead of actually hearing me
- I’m being brutal with myself over how I handled something
- If a friend told me they’d blown off this exact thing I’d be gentle and kind to them in a heartbeat, yet to myself I’m brutal
Practices that may help
- Replace critic monologue with compassionate self-talk
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a close friend in the same situation.
Working With Your Inner Critic - Compassionate Letter Writing
Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of a wise, compassionate friend — about something you’ve been judging yourself for.
Compassion-Focused Therapy: Calming the Inner Critic - Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
Criticism puts people on the defensive and rarely produces lasting change.
How to Win Friends and Influence People, Made Practical - Write to yourself about your struggles as you would write to a close friend
When you are struggling, write a paragraph to yourself from the perspective of a compassionate, wise friend who knows your situation.
Expressive Writing (Pennebaker) - Extend the compassion you would give a friend to yourself
Ask what you would say to a capable friend who had delayed on the same task — then say that.
Self-Forgiveness and Procrastination - Give yourself advice as if advising a close friend
Describe your problem as if a close friend brought it to you — then write the advice you would give them.
Self-Distancing Journaling - Apply self-kindness as actively as you would to a friend
Treat yourself with the same warmth and understanding you would offer a close friend in the same situation.
Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem - Compassionate letter to yourself
Write to yourself from the voice of an unconditionally kind, wise friend.
Self-Compassion, Made Practical - Feedback: extract the signal, ignore the noise
Seek feedback fast, but use the part that actually tells you how to improve.
Ultralearning: Aggressive, Self-Directed Learning - Adapt how you deliver feedback to the person’s style
Deliver the same honest feedback in the form the other person can actually hear it.
The Platinum Rule
Related concerns
- How To Tell A Friend Their Music Is Awful
Literally tap out a melody and notice how obvious it is to you — but invisible to listeners.
Take the tap test before you present
- When Self Compassion Break Self Kindness Phrase
Say the words a caring friend would say — to yourself, now.
Self-kindness: offer yourself what a good friend would
- Advice To Yourself As Friend
Describe your problem as if a close friend brought it to you — then write the advice you would give them.
Give yourself advice as if advising a close friend
- How Can I Help A Close Friend Get Over Me
Describe your problem as if a close friend brought it to you — then write the advice you would give them.
- How Do I Tell My Friend That She Is Indeed Rude
Ask what you would say to a capable friend who had delayed on the same task — then say that.
Extend the compassion you would give a friend to yourself
- Self Compassion With Friends
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a close friend in the same situation.
Replace critic monologue with compassionate self-talk
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.