Coaching practices for How to Move on From Love Bombing

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Move on From Love Bombing, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• We’re both trying so hard and somehow both ending up feeling unloved, and I’m starting to think we’re each pouring love in the exact form we’d want to get it back
• When it gets too intense I just shut down and walk off to cool down
• When it gets heated I just go blank and shut down
• I keep getting dazzled by how brilliant or charming someone is and signing up to work or partner with them, and then the exact same painful pattern I’ve been burned by before
• When they get close and want more from me I feel crowded and my instinct is just to go quiet and pull away

Practices that may help

1. Discovering and acting on each other’s languages
   Find out — by asking and observing — how each partner most readily feels loved, then act on it.
   The Five Love Languages, Honestly
2. Withdrawer: signal presence before retreating
   Before you need to step back, tell your partner you are coming back.
   The Pursuer-Withdrawer Cycle, Explained
3. Self-soothe and signal when stonewalling
   If you are flooded, take a real break and signal it clearly -- then return.
   The Four Horsemen: Gottman's Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown
4. Apply anti-goals to relationships and collaborators
   Naming the relational patterns you refuse to accept prevents you from optimising for the wrong things in who you work or live with.
   Anti-Goals: Defining Success by What You Refuse to Accept
5. For avoidant: stay present longer before withdrawing
   The withdrawal that protects you from overwhelm drives your partner’s fear -- delay it by 10 percent.
   The Anxious-Avoidant Trap: Why Opposites Attract and Then Struggle
6. Understanding and managing the lure of alternatives
   Recognize when comparison to alternatives is inflating their apparent quality — and how to recalibrate.
   The Investment Model of Commitment: Why People Stay (and Why They Leave)
7. Move toward a secure baseline -- in yourself first
   Security is a state you can practice moving toward, regardless of which partner moves first.
   The Anxious-Avoidant Trap: Why Opposites Attract and Then Struggle
8. Imagine the absence of someone you love
   Briefly picture life without a person you love, then return to their actual presence.
   Negative Visualization, the Stoic Practice
9. Behavioral confirmation audit: how are you treating your partner?
   Regularly examine whether your daily behavior toward your partner confirms their ideal self or their non-ideal self.
   The Michelangelo Phenomenon: How Partners Sculpt Each Other
10. Unburdening
    Help a part release the extreme beliefs and emotions it has been carrying.
    Internal Family Systems (IFS), Made Practical

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