Coaching practices for How to Practise Compassion

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Practise Compassion, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • There’s one particular person I can’t even think about without my whole body tightening with resentment
  • I’m kind and openhearted with the people I already love and quietly closed off to the ones who get under my skin, and I’m realizing that warmth that only flows toward easy people isn’t really the practice
  • When I try to jump straight into feeling joy for others, it’s hard and stiff because my heart isn’t warmed up yet
  • A hard moment just hit and I can feel the spiral starting
  • When the scared or self-loathing part of me shows up, my reflex is to shove it away or pile more judgment on it, which only makes it worse

Practices that may help

  1. Self-Compassion, Made Practical
    Kristin Neff defines self-compassion as treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a struggling friend, built from three parts: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Unlike self-esteem, it does not depend on success or comparison — and it has a genuinely strong research base, with controlled trials linking it to lower anxiety, depression, and self-criticism.
  2. Compassion meditation for widening the circle
    Extend deliberate well-wishing to people you find difficult, building non-aversion before you encounter them.
    Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice
  3. Always abide by the three principles
    Maintain your vow, don’t show off, and practise impartially with everyone — not just the people you like.
    Lojong: Tibetan Mind Training
  4. Integrating mudita into a full brahma-vihara sequence
    Practise metta, karuna, and mudita in sequence so each quality strengthens the next.
    Mudita: How to Cultivate Sympathetic Joy
  5. The self-compassion break
    A three-step phrase you say in a hard moment: this is suffering, suffering is human, may I be kind to myself.
    Self-Compassion, Made Practical
  6. Cultivate Self through directed inner compassion
    Practice sending compassion inward — toward the parts that are suffering — to build the Self-energy those parts need.
    IFS Self Energy, Made Practical
  7. N — Nurture with self-compassion
    Offer the part that is suffering what it most needs — care, acknowledgment, reassurance — as you would a dear friend.
    RAIN Meditation: Tara Brach’s Four-Step Practice
  8. Write letters for others to build compassion fluency
    Practice the compassionate letter format for a struggling friend first to warm up the voice.
    The Self-Compassion Letter, Made Practical
  9. Noticing and extending compassionate impulses
    When you feel a spontaneous impulse toward compassion or fairness, act on it rather than suppressing it.
    Confucian Self-Cultivation: The Mencius Approach
  10. Direct tonglen toward a specific suffering person
    Bring a person who is suffering to mind and breathe in their pain; breathe out whatever would give them relief.
    Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending

Related concerns

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.

Practice this with IX Coach

Try this practice