Coaching practices for I Keep Keep Bleeding Love

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For I Keep Keep Bleeding Love, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I can never answer "what do you love?" when someone asks me straight out
• We’re both trying so hard and somehow both ending up feeling unloved, and I’m starting to think we’re each pouring love in the exact form we’d want to get it back
• I want their life to keep meaning something in the world, not just end
• The same hurt keeps cycling through me and I’m tired of arguing with it in my head
• There’s one moment when I needed them and they weren’t there, and even though it was a while ago it still sits between us

Practices that may help

1. Follow flow as a clue
   Track the activities where time disappears — they point toward love and skill at once.
   Ikigai, Honestly Explained
2. Discovering and acting on each other’s languages
   Find out — by asking and observing — how each partner most readily feels loved, then act on it.
   The Five Love Languages, Honestly
3. Carry forward the person’s legacy in your own life
   Identify values, projects, or commitments the person cared about and carry them forward yourself.
   Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
4. The four-phrase mantra
   Repeat "I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you" toward any source of distress.
   Ho'oponopono: Hawaiian Forgiveness and Reconciliation
5. Revisit a hurtful moment -- and repair it
   Going back to a painful past moment together, with new understanding, is how attachment injuries heal.
   Hold Me Tight: Sue Johnson's Seven Conversations for Lasting Love
6. Cultivating mystery: becoming interesting to yourself first
   Invest in your own aliveness — your pursuits, pleasures, and personhood — not primarily to attract your partner, but because your vitality is the resource desire draws from.
   Mating in Captivity: Sustaining Desire in Long-Term Relationships
7. Contemplation of impermanence
   Hold steadily that everything you have — including the people you love — is on loan and temporary.
   Premeditatio Malorum, in Depth
8. Task 4: Find an enduring connection with the deceased
   Relocate the relationship from physical presence to an internal, meaningful connection.
   Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
9. Distinguish adaptive from complicated continuing bonds
   Notice whether your bond with the person supports life re-engagement or prevents it.
   Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
10. Build the inflow before trying to stop the outflow
    In depleted stocks, restoring an inflow is usually more tractable than eliminating the outflow.
    Stocks and Flows

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