Coaching practices for Narrative Conflict Resolution

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Narrative Conflict Resolution, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I rush to the good news and the solution because I want to seem positive, and then I notice nobody’s really listening
  • Our group rushes straight to “so what do we do about it,” and we’re trying to solve something nobody has actually been allowed to tell their side of yet
  • Every time I name what went wrong it comes across as pointing a finger at a person or a team in the room, and the whole thing turns defensive
  • Something messy happened and out popped this neat little takeaway, the moral of the story
  • When I tell people what happened it comes out as a flat recap

Practices that may help

  1. Create tension before resolution
    Name the problem or threat clearly before you offer the solution.
    Storytelling for Persuasion, Made Practical
  2. Use a storytelling round to build mutual understanding before solving
    Before moving to resolution, give each person a round to tell their experience of what happened.
    The Circle Process (Kay Pranis)
  3. Name the antagonist: what is the obstacle, not who
    Every compelling story has something working against the protagonist — name the force, not a person.
    Storytelling for Persuasion, Made Practical
  4. Be skeptical of clean lessons extracted from messy outcomes
    When a story produces a neat takeaway, ask whether the lesson is actually in the data or in the narrative shaping.
    The Narrative Fallacy: Why We Can’t Stop Making Stories
  5. Structure the story as a transformation, not a summary
    The protagonist (you, your customer, your team) should be different at the end than at the beginning.
    Storytelling for Persuasion, Made Practical
  6. Transform the relationship, not just the issue
    Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
    The Third Alternative, Made Practical
  7. Generate alternative histories for past outcomes
    For any past success or failure, construct two or three plausible alternative paths that could have led to a different outcome.
    The Narrative Fallacy: Why We Can’t Stop Making Stories
  8. Build a coherent narrative of what happened
    Tell the story of the difficult event in a way that makes sense — coherence reduces distress even when the event itself cannot be undone.
    Meaning-Making Coping, Made Practical
  9. Identify what the narrative leaves out
    After hearing or constructing a causal story, deliberately list the facts it doesn’t explain.
    The Narrative Fallacy: Why We Can’t Stop Making Stories
  10. Spot redemption and contamination sequences
    Find the patterns in how your stories of setback and success tend to end.
    Narrative Identity, Made Practical

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