Coaching practices for Precommitment Couples
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Precommitment Couples, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- On a calm Sunday I’m completely sure I’ll follow through this week, but I know by Wednesday afternoon, when the urge hits, that resolve will evaporate
- Right now I’m fired up and ready, but I already know future-me is going to talk myself out of it when the moment comes
- Right now, fired up, I’m certain I’ll follow through
- We default to whatever each of us wants in the moment, and I rarely choose their preference over mine on purpose
- On Sunday I’m completely sure I’ll do it, and by Wednesday the version of me on the couch just shrugs and skips it with zero consequence
Practices that may help
- Precommitment Devices (Ulysses Contracts)
A precommitment device is a constraint you impose on your future self while you still have the clarity to want the right thing — locking in a choice so the weaker, in-the-moment you cannot undo it. Commitment contracts (including ones with real money or social stakes) have solid experimental support, though they help most for people already motivated to change. - Use precommitment devices to lock in future behavior from a patient vantage point
Remove the option to defect when temptation peaks by committing now, before present bias activates.
Hyperbolic Discounting — Why Future You Always Gets the Short End - Use commitment devices to make future behavior harder to avoid
Pre-commit to the behavior now — when your current self is motivated — to bind your future self.
Action Planning - Commitment Contracts, Made Practical
A commitment contract binds your future self to a course of action by attaching real costs — financial, social, or reputational — to failure. The evidence from savings programs and behavioral economics is solid for financial commitments; effects on health and habit change are positive but more variable, and contracts work best when you already want to change. - Use a precommitment device to lock in future behavior
Restrict your future self’s choices now, when motivation is high.
Nudge Theory, Made Practical - Willingness to sacrifice: building relationship-oriented decision-making
Practice making at least one weekly decision that prioritizes the relationship over personal short-term convenience.
The Investment Model of Commitment: Why People Stay (and Why They Leave) - Commitment contracts with real stakes
Put money or a consequence on the line so failing the goal costs something concrete.
Precommitment Devices (Ulysses Contracts) - Use precommitment devices to bind your present self to your future self’s preferences
Commit future behavior before the moment of temptation, because your present self is the weak link.
Future Self Continuity, Made Practical - Lock in the future-oriented choice before the temptation arrives
Pre-commit when motivated and calm so a future impulsive self doesn’t undo it.
The Marshmallow Test and Your Money - Create and protect the couple bubble
Agree that you each put the relationship above any third party, including family of origin.
Secure-Functioning Relationships
Related concerns
- Commit To Future Behavior
Pre-commit to the behavior now — when your current self is motivated — to bind your future self.
Use commitment devices to make future behavior harder to avoid
- Commitment Device Money
A precommitment device is a constraint you impose on your future self while you still have the clarity to want the right thing — locking in a choice so the weaker, in-the-moment you cannot undo it. Commitment contracts (including ones with real money or social stakes) have solid experimental support, though they help most for people already motivated to change.
- Commitment Device Savings
A precommitment device is a constraint you impose on your future self while you still have the clarity to want the right thing — locking in a choice so the weaker, in-the-moment you cannot undo it. Commitment contracts (including ones with real money or social stakes) have solid experimental support, though they help most for people already motivated to change.
- Commitment Protection
A commitment contract binds your future self to a course of action by attaching real costs — financial, social, or reputational — to failure. The evidence from savings programs and behavioral economics is solid for financial commitments; effects on health and habit change are positive but more variable, and contracts work best when you already want to change.
- Pre Commit To Goals
Pre-commit to the behavior now — when your current self is motivated — to bind your future self.
- Pre Commitment Behavior Change
Pre-commit to the behavior now — when your current self is motivated — to bind your future self.
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