Coaching practices for Schauer Neuner Net

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Schauer Neuner Net, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • In the most intimate moments with my partner my eyes close or slide away on their own
  • Sometimes a piece of music or a line in a film sends a wave of chills right up my arms, and instead of paying any attention to it I brush it off as "just a draft" and move on
  • It wasn’t one bad thing
  • I’ve told the story plenty of times
  • When I mess up, the voice inside goes straight to “you’re worthless”

Practices that may help

  1. Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET): Weaving Trauma Into a Coherent Life Story
    Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET), developed by Schauer, Neuner, and Elbert, is a structured short-term treatment for PTSD that works by having the client construct a detailed narrative of their entire life — placing traumatic events within a larger biographical context, rather than isolating them. Multiple randomized trials in refugee and war-affected populations show significant, durable reductions in PTSD symptoms. NET is particularly suited to complex and repeated trauma where individual events cannot easily be isolated.
  2. Eyes-open intimacy: contact without merger
    Practice making genuine eye contact during vulnerable or sexual moments as an act of self-disclosure rather than merger.
    Differentiation of Self: David Schnarch’s Framework for Passionate Marriage
  3. Use goosebumps as a guide to genuine awe
    Notice when you get goosebumps — it is your body marking something as genuinely vast.
    Awe and the Small Self
  4. Neuroception: How Your Nervous System Reads Safety Before Your Mind Does
    Neuroception is Stephen Porges’s term for the nervous system’s below-awareness process of continuously scanning for safety, danger, and life threat. It is a useful and evocative concept for understanding why you can feel safe or threatened without knowing why — and why conscious reassurance often cannot override a felt sense of danger. The subcortical threat-detection mechanism is well established in neuroscience; the specific polyvagal anatomical account of neuroception is Porges’s theoretical framework and is debated among researchers.
  5. Use NET for sequential and complex trauma
    Unlike single-event protocols, NET is specifically designed for people who have experienced multiple traumas.
    Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET): Weaving Trauma Into a Coherent Life Story
  6. Work the four channels of traumatic memory: sense, emotion, cognition, meaning
    NET explicitly addresses all four channels in which trauma is encoded — not just thought.
    Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET): Weaving Trauma Into a Coherent Life Story
  7. Apply self-compassion directly to shame
    Shame says "I am bad"; self-compassion says "I am human, and this is hard" — these are not the same claim, and one of them is accurate.
    Shame Resilience, Made Practical
  8. Speak shame before you act from it
    Shame drives automatic behavior — disconnecting, attacking, numbing — before we are aware of it. The pause to name and speak shame changes the behavioral outcome.
    Shame Resilience, Made Practical
  9. Write the observer’s account of the event
    Write a third-person account of what an average observer actually saw — not what you felt.
    The Spotlight Effect: Why You Think Everyone Is Watching
  10. Glimmer hunting
    Deliberately scan your environment for small sensory cues that feel safe or pleasant.
    Glimmers: Micro-Moments That Cue Safety

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