Coaching practices for Social Influence Character Development

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Social Influence Character Development, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I’ve noticed I slowly become like whoever I’m around, and lately the people closest to me bring out a smaller, more cynical version of me
• I’ve started noticing that some of the rooms and group chats I’m in pull me toward a version of myself I don’t respect, and I want to spend more of my time around the people who quietly bring out my better self.
• The people I’m around most all live the opposite of what I’m trying to become
• When I genuinely don’t know the right move, I find myself just doing whatever people like me seem to be doing
• I only ever judge my choices by whether they worked out, so when a shortcut or a small dishonesty pays off I let it slide as a win

Practices that may help

1. Cultivate relationships with moral exemplars
   Deliberately build closeness with people whose character consistently elevates you.
   Elevation: The Emotion That Lifts You
2. Cultivating a community of mutual virtue
   Choose your regular social environments with the question: "Does this community draw out my better self?"
   Confucian Self-Cultivation: The Mencius Approach
3. Surround yourself with people whose behaviors align with your health goals
   Obesity, smoking, and exercise habits are socially contagious — the people around you are your health environment.
   Blue Zone Principles: The Power 9 Longevity Practices
4. Social proof
   People look to what similar others are doing to decide what’s correct, especially under uncertainty.
   Cialdini’s Principles of Influence
5. Track character, not just outcomes
   Evaluate your decisions by who they made you, not only by what they produced.
   Phronesis: Aristotle’s Practical Wisdom
6. Engineer your social environment to support the behaviors you want
   The people around you are the most powerful environmental determinant of behavior — choose and structure social exposure intentionally.
   Environment Design for Behavior Change
7. Use social opportunity — others who make the behavior normal
   Position yourself in social contexts where your target behavior is modeled, expected, or easy to perform with others.
   The COM-B Model and Behavior Change Wheel
8. View your life as a narrative, not a sequence of choices
   Ask: what story am I living, and does it reflect the character I am trying to build?
   Virtue Ethics, Made Practical
9. Use reciprocal determinism to change behavior by changing environment or cognition first
   Because person, behavior, and environment influence each other, changing any one of them can shift the whole system.
   Social Cognitive Theory
10. Learn from observing others who are similar to you
    Watch people like you succeed at the behavior — their success provides evidence that you can too.
    Social Cognitive Theory

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