Coaching practices for Taking and Sending Breath

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Taking and Sending Breath, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I’ve heard of this breathing-in-the-pain practice but it stays a vague idea in my head
• Every time I try to just sit and watch my breath, my mind slips off into thought within seconds
• My chest is tight and my heart’s pounding right now, and I have about ten seconds before I have to walk in there
• The instant I pay attention to my breathing I start managing it
• I’m anxious and keyed up but I can still follow along

Practices that may help

1. Work with the classical two-breath texture
   Breathe in something hot, dark, and heavy; breathe out something cool, bright, and spacious.
   Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending
2. Basic noting — rising and falling
   Label the physical sensations of breath as "rising" on the inhale and "falling" on the exhale.
   Noting Practice, Made Practical
3. The physiological sigh (double inhale, long exhale)
   Inhale fully through the nose, sniff in a second time to top off, then exhale slowly and completely.
   The Physiological Sigh, Made Practical
4. The breathing phrase ("It breathes me")
   Adopt a passive observation of breathing — "it breathes me" — rather than controlling the breath.
   Autogenic Training, Made Practical
5. Paced breathing: make the exhale longer than the inhale
   Breathe in for 4 counts, out for 6–8 — the extended exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system.
   TIPP: DBT’s Crisis Skill for Rapidly Lowering Emotional Intensity
6. Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending
   Tonglen ("taking and sending") is a Tibetan Buddhist compassion practice in which the practitioner breathes in suffering — their own or another’s — and breathes out relief, ease, and goodwill. It works by deliberately moving toward pain rather than away from it, which gradually reduces the fear of suffering and expands the capacity for compassion. Evidence is largely clinical and mechanistic; direct RCTs on tonglen specifically are sparse, though compassion training more broadly shows meaningful effects.
7. Extended exhale — making the out-breath longer than the in
   Breathe so the exhale is noticeably longer than the inhale — activating the parasympathetic brake on the heart.
   The Relaxation Body-Mind, Made Practical
8. Understand why exhale-dominance is the active ingredient
   A longer exhale than inhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system through respiratory sinus arrhythmia.
   4-7-8 Breathing, Made Practical
9. Assess your baseline breathing pattern
   Observe your resting breathing for one minute to diagnose chronic over-breathing before you try to fix it.
   The Oxygen Advantage, Made Practical
10. Add a retention pause (kumbhaka) at the end of a set
    After completing a round, exhale fully and hold — this is where the cleansing and CO2-balancing effect completes.
    Kapalbhati Pranayama, Made Practical

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