Coaching practices for Think Before Speaking
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Think Before Speaking, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- In the heat of an argument the sharpest possible words just fly out of my mouth before I can stop them, and an hour later I’m sick about what I said
- There’s something charged sitting on the tip of my tongue and I keep blurting things in the heat of the moment that I regret
- Before I’ve even said a word, my mind is already running this harsh, contemptuous commentary about the person in front of me
- Halfway through what someone’s saying I’ve already finished their sentence in my head and I’m just waiting for my turn to talk
- In hard conversations I fire back from the gut and instantly wish I’d said it differently
Practices that may help
- The speech audit: THINK before you speak
Before speaking in a charged moment, check whether the words are True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind.
Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice - Right speech — four practical tests for what to say
Before speaking in a difficult situation, run the statement through: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it the right time?
The Noble Eightfold Path as a Practical Life Framework - Catching harm before it reaches speech
Notice aggressive or condemning inner commentary and name it before it shapes what you say.
Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice - Suspend judgment for one conversation
Enter a conversation committing to not completing the other person’s thought or forming a response before they finish.
Beginner's Mind (Shoshin), Made Practical - Use it as a pause before a difficult response
Insert a breathing space before reacting to a hard conversation or decision.
The Three-Minute Breathing Space - Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Listen with the intent to understand before trying to make your own point.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Made Practical - The accusation audit
Pre-empt their worst objections by saying them out loud before they can.
Tactical Empathy - Self-empathy
Apply the same observation-feeling-need process inward before you respond to anyone else.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Made Practical - Apply the view to interrupt anger
In the moment of anger, use the zoom-out as a circuit breaker before you speak or act.
The View from Above - P — Proceed Mindfully: Act from Wisdom, Not Impulse
After observing, ask: "What action is consistent with my goals and values right now?" — then act on that.
The STOP Skill: A DBT Technique for Crisis Moments
Related concerns
- Catch Judgment Before Speaking
Enter a conversation committing to not completing the other person’s thought or forming a response before they finish.
Suspend judgment for one conversation
- How To Be More Mindful Of What You Say
Before speaking in a charged moment, check whether the words are True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind.
The speech audit: THINK before you speak
- When Ahimsa Nonviolence Noticing Harm In Thought
Notice aggressive or condemning inner commentary and name it before it shapes what you say.
Catching harm before it reaches speech
- When Ahimsa Nonviolence Speech Audit
Before speaking in a charged moment, check whether the words are True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind.
- When The View From Above Applying The View To Anger
In the moment of anger, use the zoom-out as a circuit breaker before you speak or act.
Apply the view to interrupt anger
- Check Yourself Before Reacting
Before speaking in a charged moment, check whether the words are True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind.
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