Coaching practices for What to Do When a Loved One Dies

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For What to Do When a Loved One Dies, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • They handled the money, or the cooking, or were just the person I leaned on
  • There’s so much I never got to say to them, and so much happening now I wish I could tell them
  • I want their life to keep meaning something in the world, not just end
  • I know in my head that they’re gone, but it still hasn’t landed
  • Everyone’s gone quiet about them, like saying their name would upset me, so I never get to hear other people’s memories

Practices that may help

  1. Task 3: Adjust to a world without the person
    Actively develop new skills, roles, and identity elements to navigate the changed life.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  2. Speak or write to the person directly
    Address the deceased in letters, journal entries, or internal dialogue as a form of active continuing connection.
    Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
  3. Carry forward the person’s legacy in your own life
    Identify values, projects, or commitments the person cared about and carry them forward yourself.
    Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
  4. Task 1: Accept the full reality of the loss
    Move from intellectual acknowledgement to full emotional acceptance that the person is gone.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  5. Share the continuing bond in community
    Talk about the person with others who knew and loved them, keeping the relationship alive in shared memory.
    Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
  6. Find a community that recognises your specific loss
    Seek out people who have experienced the same type of loss — online or in person.
    Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
  7. Task 4: Find an enduring connection with the deceased
    Relocate the relationship from physical presence to an internal, meaningful connection.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  8. Create private rituals for losses that have no public ceremony
    Design your own mourning practice for a loss that comes with no cultural script.
    Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
  9. Direct tonglen toward a specific suffering person
    Bring a person who is suffering to mind and breathe in their pain; breathe out whatever would give them relief.
    Tonglen: The Tibetan Practice of Taking and Sending
  10. Construct a coherent narrative of the loss
    Tell the full story of the loss — who the person was, what happened, and what life is now.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical

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