Coaching practices for There's Someone Whose Judgment I Deeply Admire and I Keep Asking Them What Would You Do and Just Copying Their Answer but I Want to Understand How They Actually See a Situation What They Notice First So I Can Grow That Sense in Myself Instead of Staying Dependent on Borrowing Their Conclusions

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• There’s someone whose judgment I deeply admire, and I keep asking them "what would you do?" and just copying their answer
• The moment someone brings me a problem the answer is already on my lips and I just hand it over
• I watch someone who’s genuinely good at this glance at the same thing I’m staring at and instantly catch something I can’t see at all
• I just made a hard call under real uncertainty and I keep wondering whether someone with genuinely good judgment would have handled it differently
• Every approach I come up with sounds like me, because I keep ruling out anything that doesn’t feel like something I’d do

Practices that may help

1. Learn from a phronimos (a practically wise person)
   Identify someone whose judgment you respect, and study how they read situations — not just what they decide.
   Phronesis: Aristotle’s Practical Wisdom
2. Stay curious one beat longer before advising
   Resist the urge to give the answer for one more question — ask what they think first.
   The Leader as Coach: A New Management Paradigm
3. Expert-comparison study
   Watch or listen to an expert perform and articulate what they are attending to that you are not.
   Perceptual Learning: Training Your Eye Before Your Mind
4. Developing phronesis: practical wisdom through reflection
   After a significant decision, reflect on what a practically wise person would have done — and update your judgment for next time.
   Aristotelian Eudaimonia: Flourishing Through Virtue
5. Ask what a specific other person would do
   Step into a named other’s perspective to access approaches you would not generate as yourself.
   Oblique Strategies, Made Practical
6. Advise yourself as you would a friend
   Ask what you would tell a friend in exactly your situation — then take your own advice.
   Self-Distancing: Thinking Clearly About Your Own Problems
7. Apply the outsider test: how would this look to a neutral observer?
   Ask how a detached, well-informed stranger would evaluate your belief or decision.
   The Scout Mindset
8. Check the story before you conclude
   Ask what they actually meant instead of convicting them on your interpretation.
   Generous Interpretation
9. Copy masters to see how they made choices you take for granted
   Reproduce an admired work by hand and pay attention to every decision — copying is how beginners see what experts do invisibly.
   The Beginner’s Mind in Creative Practice
10. Elicit your own tacit knowledge by working through cases
    Use concrete case analysis to surface the implicit rules you already follow but cannot state.
    Tacit Knowledge: The Skill You Can’t Fully Explain

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