Coaching practices for When I Genuinely Don't Know the Right Move I Find Myself Just Doing Whatever People Like Me Seem to Be Doing and I Want to Understand How Strongly the Crowd is Pulling Me Both So I Can Use it and So I Can Resist it
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For When I Genuinely Don't Know the Right Move I Find Myself Just Doing Whatever People Like Me Seem to Be Doing and I Want to Understand How Strongly the Crowd is Pulling Me Both So I Can Use it and So I Can Resist it, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- When I genuinely don’t know the right move, I find myself just doing whatever people like me seem to be doing
- When I’m way out of my depth and have no idea what’s right, I notice I just do whatever the room seems to be doing
- The moment someone tells me not to do something, I suddenly want to do it more
- I assume everyone around me is slacking on this too, so why should I bother
- I’m walking into a meeting to win the room over to something, and I dread the silence after I pitch
Practices that may help
- Social proof
People look to what similar others are doing to decide what’s correct, especially under uncertainty.
Cialdini’s Principles of Influence - Recognize that uncertainty amplifies social proof
The less confident someone feels, the more they weight what others are doing.
Social Proof, Made Practical - Catch the boomerang effect in yourself
When you notice yourself wanting to do the opposite of what you "should," use that as information rather than fighting it.
Psychological Reactance: Working With the Push-Back Reflex - Use social norm messages to shift behavior
People conform to what they believe others like them are doing — show them accurate norms.
Nudge Theory, Made Practical - Harness visible commitment in group settings
When one person in a group makes a visible commitment, others follow — start with the most willing.
Social Proof, Made Practical - Walk your why — act from values, not from mood
Choose your response based on what matters to you, not on what the emotion is demanding.
Emotional Agility, Made Practical - Identify the action urge
Name exactly what the emotion is pushing you to do, so you can choose the opposite.
Opposite Action: Acting Against the Emotion’s Urge - Ask reflective questions instead of giving answers
Questions that prompt self-examination invite the person in; directives keep them out.
Psychological Reactance: Working With the Push-Back Reflex - Engineer your social environment to support the behaviors you want
The people around you are the most powerful environmental determinant of behavior — choose and structure social exposure intentionally.
Environment Design for Behavior Change - Values compass check: is this action moving toward or away?
Before committing to a behavior, ask whether it moves toward or away from your stated values.
Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical
Related concerns
- Peer Social Proof
Social proof is the tendency to look to what others are doing — especially similar others in uncertain situations — as a guide to correct behavior. It is one of the most robustly documented influence principles in social psychology, appearing in conformity research, field experiments, and consumer behavior studies. It can be used honestly (showing real evidence of others’ choices) or exploited (fabricating or cherry-picking signals).
- Social Proof As A Caregiver
Social proof is the tendency to look to what others are doing — especially similar others in uncertain situations — as a guide to correct behavior. It is one of the most robustly documented influence principles in social psychology, appearing in conformity research, field experiments, and consumer behavior studies. It can be used honestly (showing real evidence of others’ choices) or exploited (fabricating or cherry-picking signals).
- Social Proof During A Big Change
"People like you do this" is far more persuasive than "a lot of people do this."
Use peer-specific social proof, not generic popularity
- Social Proof Examples
Social proof is the tendency to look to what others are doing — especially similar others in uncertain situations — as a guide to correct behavior. It is one of the most robustly documented influence principles in social psychology, appearing in conformity research, field experiments, and consumer behavior studies. It can be used honestly (showing real evidence of others’ choices) or exploited (fabricating or cherry-picking signals).
- Social Proof In Groups
Social proof is the tendency to look to what others are doing — especially similar others in uncertain situations — as a guide to correct behavior. It is one of the most robustly documented influence principles in social psychology, appearing in conformity research, field experiments, and consumer behavior studies. It can be used honestly (showing real evidence of others’ choices) or exploited (fabricating or cherry-picking signals).
- Social Proof Psychology
Social proof is the tendency to look to what others are doing — especially similar others in uncertain situations — as a guide to correct behavior. It is one of the most robustly documented influence principles in social psychology, appearing in conformity research, field experiments, and consumer behavior studies. It can be used honestly (showing real evidence of others’ choices) or exploited (fabricating or cherry-picking signals).
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