Coaching practices for I'm a Naturally Fidgety Can't Sit Still Person and I've Spent Years Forcing Myself to Hold Rigidly Still to Look Composed in Meetings I Want to Stop Suppressing All Those Little Urges to Shift and Pace Because Freezing Myself Up Actually Feels Worse

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I’m a naturally fidgety, can’t-sit-still person and I’ve spent years forcing myself to hold rigidly still to look composed in meetings
• The instant anything gets even mildly uncomfortable I have to shift, fidget, escape
• When I finally calm down after something scary my hands start shaking and I always clamp down on it because it’s embarrassing
• Every time I try to sit I end up fidgeting and aching, or I lock myself rigid and grit through it
• When my body starts to tremble or shake or wants to move, I instantly clamp down and hold it in because it feels embarrassing or out of control

Practices that may help

1. Cultivate postural variety and fidgeting as unconscious NEAT contributors
   Shifting posture, standing briefly, and moving fidgetically during seated tasks can add hundreds of calories of NEAT daily.
   NEAT Thermogenesis
2. Sittings of strong determination — commitment to stillness
   Commit to not moving, opening the eyes, or adjusting for a fixed period, developing steadiness under discomfort.
   Vipassana Meditation, Made Practical
3. Allow micromovements to discharge activation
   Let small, involuntary trembling or movement complete the interrupted survival response.
   The Freeze Response and How to Thaw It
4. Zazen posture and breath
   Establish a stable, upright seated posture and let the breath settle as the ground of practice.
   Zen Practice (Zazen and Beyond)
5. Allow the body to complete its response
   Make room for spontaneous shaking, trembling, deep breaths, or movement that wants to happen.
   Somatic Experiencing, Honestly Explained
6. Postural variety through intentional position changes
   The best posture is your next posture — build deliberate position changes into every hour to prevent any single posture from accumulating damage.
   Posture Resets: Breaking the Desk-Posture Cycle
7. Use timed writing sprints to break creative blocks
   Set a timer for 10–20 minutes and write without stopping — urgency quiets the editor.
   Morning Pages, Made Practical
8. Do the opposite action all the way
   Commit to the opposite fully — posture, voice, attention — not half-heartedly.
   Opposite Action: Acting Against the Emotion’s Urge
9. Set your posture before high-stakes moments
   Take a private moment to settle into a confident posture before a presentation or hard talk.
   Posture and Confidence, Honestly Explained
10. Use paradoxical intention for performance anxiety
    Before a performance, commit to performing as badly as possible — notice what happens to the anxiety.
    Logotherapy: Paradoxical Intention

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