Coaching practices for I've Got These Very Different Visions of My Life on Paper and I'm Staring at Them Wondering What's Actually Me Underneath All of Them What Keeps Showing Up No Matter Which Future I Imagine the Thing That If it Were Missing Would Make Any of Them Feel Hollow

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I’ve got these very different visions of my life on paper and I’m staring at them wondering what’s actually me underneath all of them
  • I’ve got goals on a list but the future feels flat and far away, nothing I can actually feel pulling me
  • When I try to picture my future it stays abstract and far away
  • I’ve quietly decided there’s only one acceptable version of my life and I’m white-knuckling toward it
  • There’s this constant background sense of not being enough, but I can’t even tell what kind

Practices that may help

  1. Build a coherent narrative across your three plans
    Find the values and themes that appear across all three plans — they are your non-negotiables.
    Odyssey Plans: Designing Three Alternative Futures
  2. Write vivid imagined future scenes
    Extend your life story into the future with specific, felt scenes — not just goals.
    Narrative Identity, Made Practical
  3. Write a best-possible-life narrative
    Write a detailed story of your life in 10 years if everything went as well as it possibly could.
    The Life Crafting Intervention: Scripting Your Future Self
  4. Draft three genuinely different five-year plans
    Sketch three distinct five-year lives — not variations on the same theme, but genuinely different directions.
    Odyssey Plans: Designing Three Alternative Futures
  5. Map your actual, ideal, and ought selves
    Write separate descriptions of who you are, who you want to be, and who you feel you must be — then compare them.
    Self-Discrepancy Theory, Made Practical
  6. Draft three Odyssey Plans
    Sketch three different five-year lives — not variations on one, but genuinely divergent paths.
    Designing Your Life, Made Practical
  7. Write a letter from your future self
    Have your 80-year-old self write back about the decision you’re facing now.
    The Regret-Minimization Framework
  8. Vividly visualize your future self in concrete detail
    The more specific and sensory your image of your future self, the less you discount their wellbeing.
    Future Self Continuity, Made Practical
  9. Run prototyping conversations before committing to a plan
    Talk to people already living your Plan B or C before you decide whether to pursue it.
    Odyssey Plans: Designing Three Alternative Futures
  10. Update and revise possible selves over time
    Revisit and rewrite your possible selves at least twice a year — the self you need to become changes as you grow.
    Possible Selves, Made Practical

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