Coaching practices for Which Roles Are Worth Keeping

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Which Roles Are Worth Keeping, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • The role that told me who I was just ended
  • I’ve defined being a good parent (or partner, or manager) by whether the other person turns out happy and successful
  • I’m good at my job and on top of my commitments, and yet I’m quietly miserable
  • They handled the money, or the cooking, or were just the person I leaned on
  • I keep making the call that looks good this quarter and quietly costs the team a year out, and I want to start deciding like someone holding all this in trust for the long run rather than spending it to hit the number in front of me.

Practices that may help

  1. Anchor self-definition in values, not roles
    Define yourself by what you stand for rather than by the roles you play — roles change; values endure.
    Self-Concept Clarity, Made Practical
  2. Accept your role (not its outcomes) as your commitment
    Commit to the role — parent, manager, friend, citizen — as a practice, with its obligations, not as a guarantee of outcomes.
    The Stoic Reserve Clause
  3. Apply the matrix at the role level, not just the task level
    Audit which of your entire roles or commitments are Q1, Q2, Q3, or Q4 — not just individual tasks.
    The Eisenhower Life Audit
  4. Task 3: Adjust to a world without the person
    Actively develop new skills, roles, and identity elements to navigate the changed life.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  5. Practice foresight and stewardship
    Hold the team’s resources and future in trust — decide for the long game, not just this quarter.
    Servant Leadership, Made Practical
  6. Develop successors who will surpass you
    Invest in your successor’s success as a deliberate act of institutional ambition.
    Level 5 Leadership: Humility and Will in Great Leaders
  7. Migrate tasks deliberately at the end of each month
    At the month’s end, rewrite unfinished tasks by hand — only those worth the effort of rewriting survive.
    The Bullet Journal Method, Made Practical
  8. Expand your role through extra-role behavior
    Voluntarily take on work beyond your formal responsibilities to signal readiness for a higher-trust relationship.
    Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical
  9. The seasonal values revisit
    Re-sort your cards every three to six months — values shift, and the map should too.
    Values Card Sort
  10. Run the reverse test: what would you give up if income dropped?
    Test your spending choices by asking which you’d cut first if income fell — that reveals what is genuinely valued.
    Lifestyle Creep: Why Raises Don’t Make You Richer

Related concerns

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