Clarify values and choose them actively
Name what genuinely matters to you — not what should matter — and make it a live choice today.
Why it works
Values provide an internal compass for behavior that is independent of mood, motivation, and circumstances. When they are unclear or confused with goals and social expectations, behavior becomes reactive rather than chosen. Clarifying and actively choosing values shifts the locus of control inward: you act because of what you have chosen, not because of how you feel or what others expect, which is a stable foundation inflexibility cannot easily erode.
How to do it
- Pick one domain (work, health, relationships) and write: "The kind of person I want to be here is..."
- Check that it is a direction, not a destination, and that it is genuinely yours, not inherited.
- State the value as an active choice: "I choose to be [value] today, even when it is hard."
- Connect at least one concrete action today to that stated value.
Evidence
Values clarification is a foundational ACT process with growing evidence; it is also consistent with self-determination theory research showing that autonomous, intrinsically motivated behavior is more persistent and associated with better well-being. (observational)
Values clarification in ACT is hard to isolate from committed action; support comes from whole-ACT trials and related motivation research.
Common mistake
Listing values that are ideals you think you should hold rather than directions that genuinely pull you — the test is whether acting on the value feels inherently meaningful, not just correct.
Practice this with IX Coach
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More practices for Psychological Flexibility, Made Practical
- Gauge your current flexibility level
Diagnose which end of the flexibility–inflexibility axis you operate from before you try to shift it.
- Defuse from the thoughts that rule your behavior
See a commanding thought as a mental event, not a directive you must obey.
- Expand into difficult feelings rather than contracting away
When discomfort arrives, consciously make room for it rather than tightening against it.
- Anchor attention to the present moment deliberately
When the mind pulls to past regret or future worry, redirect to what is actually here.
- Spot inflexibility as it happens in daily life
Catch fusion or avoidance in real time — before the behavioral consequence — rather than in retrospect.
- Treat flexibility as an ongoing practice, not a state to achieve
Psychological flexibility is trained incrementally — it is not a destination but a direction.
Related concepts
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Made Practical
The core ACT processes, the mechanisms behind them, and an honest read on the evidence
- Committed Action, Made Practical
The practices that turn values from intentions into a lived life
- Self-as-Context (Observing Self), Made Practical
Stepping back from self-stories to the perspective that is always already there