Show up for the person, not just the deliverable

Acknowledge what is happening in someone’s life when it is clearly affecting them — before addressing the work.

Why it works

When someone is going through something difficult and a manager acts as though nothing is happening, it communicates that the manager only cares about output. That perception — accurate or not — creates lasting damage to the trust account. Acknowledging the human situation first, briefly and without prying, signals that the relationship is not purely transactional. Neurologically, people who feel seen and acknowledged are less activated and more open to taking in new information.

How to do it

1. When you notice someone seems off, name it simply: "You seem like you’ve got a lot going on — is there anything I should know about, or anything I can do?"
2. Do not pry; offer a door and let them decide whether to open it.
3. If they share something, acknowledge it without immediately pivoting to work: sit with it briefly.
4. Follow up later — not with "are you better?" but "how are things?" — showing the conversation wasn’t a one-time gesture.

Evidence

Feeling seen and acknowledged by a manager is consistently associated with higher psychological safety and feedback receptivity. The mechanism (acknowledgment reduces perceived threat) is consistent with co-regulation and polyvagal theory research, though Scott’s specific practice is prescriptive rather than directly studied. (mechanistic)

General support from literature on workplace acknowledgment and safety; Scott’s specific prescription is practitioner inference. Over-prying or performative checking-in can backfire.

Common mistake

Acknowledging the human situation once and then treating it as resolved — the person knows whether their manager remembers and follows up, and forgetting signals the first acknowledgment was transactional.