Hold conflicting perspectives without collapsing

When two people you respect disagree, hold both views as data instead of needing one to be simply right.

Why it works

The socialized mind tends to merge with whichever perspective is most present, flipping between them. The self-authoring mind can hold several perspectives simultaneously and adjudicate among them from its own standard. Practicing this — sitting with conflicting valid views without rushing to resolve the tension — builds the integrative capacity that authorship requires.

How to do it

1. Take a real disagreement between two people you respect.
2. Steelman both positions until each feels reasonable from inside.
3. Form your own view by weighing them against your standard, rather than siding with the last voice.

Evidence

Holding and coordinating multiple perspectives is a defining feature of the self-authoring mind in Kegan’s model and resembles "wise reasoning" constructs (perspective integration) that have their own observational support — though the developmental claim itself rests on theory. Grossmann’s wise-reasoning research provides direct empirical grounding: self-distancing eliminates the self-other asymmetry in reasoning wisely about conflict, and wise reasoning tracks measurably across real everyday challenges — evidence that the perspective-coordination this practice trains is a real, movable capacity. (mechanistic)

The connection between Kegan’s stage and wise-reasoning measures is suggestive; the stage construct is not validated by intervention trials.

Sources

• Kegan, on coordinating perspectives at the self-authoring stage; Grossmann, wise-reasoning research
• Grossmann, I., & Kross, E. (2014). Exploring Solomon’s Paradox: Self-Distancing Eliminates the Self-Other Asymmetry in Wise Reasoning About Close Relationships in Younger and Older Adults. Psychological Science, 25(8), 1571-1580.
• Grossmann, I., Gerlach, T. M., & Denissen, J. J. A. (2016). Wise Reasoning in the Face of Everyday Life Challenges. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 7(7), 611-622.

Common mistake

Mistaking "hold both views" for never taking a position. Self-authorship integrates perspectives and then *decides* from your own standard — it doesn’t dissolve into endless even-handedness.