Let go of perfectionism

See perfectionism as a shield against judgment, not a path to excellence — and set it down.

Why it works

Brown reframes perfectionism not as healthy striving but as a defensive belief that if you look and do everything perfectly, you can avoid blame and shame. Because the standard is unreachable, it guarantees the very feelings of failure it’s meant to prevent. Distinguishing it from healthy striving (which is self-focused and growth-oriented) is what lets you release the shield without dropping your standards.

How to do it

1. Notice when you’re working to avoid judgment ("what will they think?") versus to improve ("how can I grow?").
2. Reframe the goal around your own progress rather than others’ approval.
3. Practice letting one thing be "good enough and shared" instead of perfect and hidden.

Evidence

Brown’s perfectionism-as-shield framing comes from her grounded-theory interview research. It’s consistent with broader psychology findings that maladaptive perfectionism is linked to anxiety and depression, while that broader link is the more strongly evidenced part. (observational)

Brown’s framing is qualitative; the wider perfectionism-and-distress research is correlational but more rigorously established.

Common mistake

Confusing letting go of perfectionism with lowering standards or not caring — Brown’s point is that perfectionism and excellence are different things, and dropping the former protects the latter.