The practice of self-acceptance

Be for yourself — refuse to be your own adversary, even about the parts you want to change.

Why it works

Branden distinguishes acceptance from approval: you can fully acknowledge a flaw, feeling, or action without disowning it. Disowned parts don’t disappear, they run you from the shadows. Accepting that "this is what I did / felt / am right now" is the precondition for change, because you cannot transform what you refuse to admit is yours.

How to do it

1. Name a trait or action you reject in yourself and say "this is part of my experience right now."
2. Separate acknowledgment ("I did this") from approval ("this is fine") — you can accept without endorsing.
3. Notice that owning it, rather than disowning it, is what makes changing it possible.

Evidence

Self-acceptance is Branden’s clinical concept and is conceptually close to ideas in acceptance-based therapies and self-compassion research, which do have controlled-trial support for reducing distress. (clinical)

Branden’s specific pillar is therapeutic theory; the adjacent acceptance and self-compassion literatures carry the stronger empirical evidence.

Common mistake

Reading self-acceptance as resignation ("this is just how I am, so why try"), when Branden means the exact opposite — acceptance is what frees you to change.