Coaching practices for Assertiveness Training with My Team

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Assertiveness Training with My Team, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I say the firm thing but my voice goes up at the end like a question, my eyes drop, and I tack on a nervous little laugh
  • I’ve told my people a hundred times they can disagree with me, but they still don’t
  • I feel like I have to look certain and have all the answers in front of my team, and I’m starting to wonder if that very armor is exactly why none of them will admit when they’re unsure either.
  • In our meetings everyone just nods along and the doubts only come out in private afterward, because being the one who pushes back makes you look like you’re not a team player
  • I end every meeting with "any thoughts?" and get nothing but nods, then the real objections surface in the hallway afterward

Practices that may help

  1. Assertiveness Training, Made Practical
    Assertiveness training is a set of learnable skills — using I-statements, the broken-record technique, fogging, and saying no without over-justifying — that let you express needs and limits directly without aggression or passivity. It comes out of behavior therapy and social-skills training and has a genuine clinical basis, taught for decades in therapeutic settings.
  2. Match your body to your words
    Assertive words undercut by passive body language read as a bluff.
    Assertiveness Training, Made Practical
  3. Teach speak-up skills, not just encourage speaking up
    Give team members specific language for raising concerns, not just permission to raise them.
    Psychological Safety in Teams
  4. Model vulnerability and uncertainty as a leader to accelerate safety
    Deliberately share your own uncertainties, mistakes, and questions — it gives permission for others to do the same.
    The Four Stages of Psychological Safety
  5. Appoint an explicit devil’s advocate role
    Give one person the formal job of arguing against the plan — making dissent structural, not personal.
    Red Teaming: Stress-Testing Plans Before They Fail
  6. Invite input explicitly and specifically
    Ask for candid input on a specific topic — not "any thoughts?" but "where do you see this plan failing?"
    Psychological Safety in Teams
  7. Create safety for experimentation and honest challenge
    Make it safe to raise problems, test new ideas, and disagree — before expecting the team to transform.
    Transformational Leadership, Made Practical
  8. Frame the work as a learning problem, not an execution problem
    Name the uncertainty and interdependence out loud so people expect to learn, not just deliver.
    Psychological Safety, Made Practical
  9. Challenge assumptions and invite new thinking
    Actively encourage your team to question old ways and generate new approaches.
    Transformational Leadership, Made Practical
  10. Diagnose which safety stage your team is currently in
    Before intervening, accurately assess whether the deficit is inclusion, learner, contributor, or challenger safety.
    The Four Stages of Psychological Safety

Related concerns

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