Coaching practices for Awe and Well Being During Conflict

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Awe and Well Being During Conflict, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• The moment we start arguing, any sense that I actually like and respect this person evaporates
• The moment a hard topic comes up I go stiff and grim, and that heaviness makes the whole thing feel like a standoff
• I’ve started treating every fight we have as proof that something’s broken between us, and because we never really circle back to mend them afterward, each unfinished one chips away at all the good we’ve built
• The moment an argument heats up I either shut down and flee or cave just to make it stop
• The second we start disagreeing, all the warmth drains out and it’s pure opposition

Practices that may help

1. Protect fondness actively during and after conflict
   Conflict is the test of PSO — deliberately hold the positive frame while the negative one is loudest.
   Positive Sentiment Override: How to Build the Lens That Protects Relationships
2. Easy Manner: bring a light touch when appropriate
   Use humor, lightness, and warmth to remind both of you that the relationship is bigger than this conflict.
   GIVE: DBT’s Skill for Preserving Relationships During Difficult Conversations
3. Treat conflict as maintenance, not maintenance failure
   Repair well and quickly — because how you end conflict matters more than how you conduct it.
   Relationship Maintenance Behaviors
4. Use fierce self-compassion to stay in hard conversations
   Stay present in conflict by meeting your own distress with compassion, so you don't flee or attack.
   Fierce Self-Compassion, Made Practical
5. Maintain positive tone even during disagreement
   The ratio matters most when you are fighting -- keep warmth and acknowledgment present inside conflict.
   The Magic Relationship Ratio: Gottman's 5-to-1 Principle
6. Make extra deposits during difficult life periods
   External stress drains PSO — consciously increase positive interactions when life is hard.
   Positive Sentiment Override: How to Build the Lens That Protects Relationships
7. Fight the problem, not each other
   Reorient conflict so both partners face the problem together rather than facing each other.
   Secure-Functioning Relationships
8. Awe and Well-Being, Made Practical
   Awe — the emotion triggered by encountering something vast that challenges your current mental frameworks — reliably reduces self-focused thinking, lowers inflammatory markers in some studies, increases prosocial behavior, and expands the perceived sense of time available. Dacher Keltner’s research shows awe is more accessible than people think and can be deliberately cultivated without waiting for once-in-a-decade peak experiences.
9. Responding to conflict without escalation
   In a conflict, address the problem without attacking the person.
   Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice
10. Separate the person from the problem
    Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
    The Third Alternative, Made Practical

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