Coaching practices for Broaden and Build Situation Selection
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Broaden and Build Situation Selection, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I know exactly what fills me back up
- Some people leave me lit up and others leave me flat and small, but I keep giving the most of my time to the draining ones out of habit or obligation
- My brief is so broad — "make it better," "help everyone" — that the possibilities feel infinite and I keep landing on bland, generic answers, because the problem is too big and vague for any specific, alive solution to come into focus.
- There’s a hard conversation or event I can’t get out of, and I just brace to white-knuckle through it
- I pile up so many options trying to be thorough that I drown in them
Practices that may help
- Design your situation for positive emotion, not just negative avoidance
Situation selection is not only about avoiding what is harmful — it includes actively scheduling what is emotionally nourishing.
Situation Selection, Made Practical - Situation Selection, Made Practical
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused. - Curate your social situation portfolio
Who you spend time with, and in what contexts, is perhaps the highest-leverage situation selection available to most people.
Situation Selection, Made Practical - Narrow the scope: a smaller problem space is a richer one
Restrict the problem to a specific user, use case, or scenario — the narrower the brief, the richer the possible solutions within it.
Deliberate Constraints, Made Practical - Modify situations before entering them
When you must enter a difficult situation, shape it in advance to reduce its emotional cost.
Situation Selection, Made Practical - Limit the option set deliberately
Cap how many alternatives you’ll consider before you start.
Satisficing vs. Maximizing: When “Good Enough” Wins - Generate Options — explore the full range of possibilities before committing
Invite the person to generate as many options as possible before evaluating any of them.
The GROW Model: Coaching Conversations That Actually Move People - Elicit your real standards before you look
Write down what a good outcome actually requires before options are visible.
Choice Overload, Made Practical - Broaden-and-Build, Made Practical
Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory proposes that positive emotions — joy, curiosity, love, gratitude, awe — temporarily broaden thought-action repertoires (making thinking more flexible and creative) and, over time, build durable psychological resources including resilience, social connection, and cognitive flexibility. The theory is supported by experimental evidence for the broadening effect; the longer-term building effects are primarily observational. - Develop regulation strategies for high-value, difficult situations
For the situations you must enter despite their emotional cost, invest in regulation capacity rather than avoidance.
Situation Selection, Made Practical
Related concerns
- Situation Selection When Starting Out
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused.
- Situation Selection After A Loss
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused.
- Situation Selection As A Caregiver
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused.
- Situation Selection As A Parent
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused.
- Situation Selection At Work
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused.
- Situation Selection During A Big Change
When you must enter a difficult situation, shape it in advance to reduce its emotional cost.
Modify situations before entering them
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.