Coaching practices for Child Directed Play

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Child Directed Play, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Even when I sit down to play with my kid I catch myself steering it
• I praise my kid constantly
• My kid is full of wild physical energy and I tend to shut down the wrestling and chasing because I’m afraid it’ll spin out of control
• My child reacts to everything on pure impulse and never seems to stop and think how the other kid feels, and I want to actually build that thinking-and-considering muscle during our good calm moments, not just keep firefighting once they’ve already lost it.
• There’s a window every day

Practices that may help

1. Follow the child’s lead completely during special time
   Let the child decide what you do, how long you stay, and when you move on.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
2. Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
   Special time is a structured daily or near-daily practice of ten to twenty minutes of fully child-directed, uninterrupted one-on-one play, drawn from Lawrence Cohen's Playful Parenting framework. It fills the child’s attachment "cup," reduces bids for attention through misbehavior, and builds the relationship reserve that makes limits and teaching more effective. Clinical and observational evidence consistently supports child-directed play as a relationship and behavior intervention.
3. Sportscast what you see rather than directing
   Narrate the play without evaluation, question, or instruction.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
4. Engage in safe rough-and-tumble play
   Wrestling, chasing, and physical silliness build the regulation capacity that calm activities cannot.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
5. Engage the upstairs brain through curiosity and play
   Ask questions that require the child to think, imagine, or consider another perspective.
   The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
6. Use special time to fill the connection cup before problems escalate
   A proactive ten-minute connection recharge can prevent an afternoon of battles.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
7. Spend quality one-on-one time with your child
   Fifteen minutes of child-led, uninterrupted attention per day builds the relationship that discipline depends on.
   Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
8. Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments
   Narrate what the child is doing right in real time, even when it is unremarkable.
   The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
9. Talk with your child about their day and interests
   Genuine conversational interest builds vocabulary, trust, and the relationship buffer that makes limits land without conflict.
   Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
10. Use play to re-establish connection after conflict or separation
    Playful physical contact after a difficult moment re-welds the relationship faster than discussion.
    Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)

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