Coaching practices for How to Play with Your Child

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Play with Your Child, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Even when I sit down to play with my kid I catch myself steering it
• After a blow-up with my kid we both stay frozen and far apart, and I keep trying to talk it through, to get an apology, while the distance just drags on
• My kid is full of wild physical energy and I tend to shut down the wrestling and chasing because I’m afraid it’ll spin out of control
• I praise my kid constantly
• Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together

Practices that may help

1. Follow the child’s lead completely during special time
   Let the child decide what you do, how long you stay, and when you move on.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
2. Use play to re-establish connection after conflict or separation
   Playful physical contact after a difficult moment re-welds the relationship faster than discussion.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
3. Engage in safe rough-and-tumble play
   Wrestling, chasing, and physical silliness build the regulation capacity that calm activities cannot.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
4. Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
   Special time is a structured daily or near-daily practice of ten to twenty minutes of fully child-directed, uninterrupted one-on-one play, drawn from Lawrence Cohen's Playful Parenting framework. It fills the child’s attachment "cup," reduces bids for attention through misbehavior, and builds the relationship reserve that makes limits and teaching more effective. Clinical and observational evidence consistently supports child-directed play as a relationship and behavior intervention.
5. Sportscast what you see rather than directing
   Narrate the play without evaluation, question, or instruction.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
6. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
   Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
7. Engage the upstairs brain through curiosity and play
   Ask questions that require the child to think, imagine, or consider another perspective.
   The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
8. Use special time to fill the connection cup before problems escalate
   A proactive ten-minute connection recharge can prevent an afternoon of battles.
   Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting)
9. Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments
   Narrate what the child is doing right in real time, even when it is unremarkable.
   The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
10. Cultivate a "yes brain": curiosity, courage, and resilience over reactivity
    Respond to the child’s world with curiosity and openness rather than threat and control.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)

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