Coaching practices for Choosing Role Models

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Choosing Role Models, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I have abstract ideas about the kind of person I want to be, but in a hard moment I freeze because I don’t actually know what that looks like in practice
  • Stuck at a hard choice, "can I even do this?" just loops in my head and freezes me
  • I stand up and tell my team what we value, but I’ve started to wonder whether my own choices actually match the words
  • I’m a beginner holding myself to the standard of the absolute top people in my field
  • Some part of me is convinced this is just impossible for someone like me, and watching the polished experts only widens the gap

Practices that may help

  1. Choose and study role models deliberately
    Select a specific person whose character in a specific domain you want to internalize, and study how they act — not just what they say.
    Virtue Ethics, Made Practical
  2. Borrow an identity temporarily by asking "what would [person] do?"
    Temporarily adopting a role model’s identity in a specific context lowers the friction of acting as they would.
    Identity Priming, Made Practical
  3. Model the values you expect (idealized influence)
    Become a living example of the values you want your team to hold.
    Transformational Leadership, Made Practical
  4. Curate your comparison pool deliberately
    Choose who you regularly compare yourself to — peers at a similar stage, not outliers at the peak.
    The Comparison Trap
  5. Use vicarious mastery to lower the threat estimate
    Before attempting something difficult, watch someone similar to you succeed at it — not an expert, but a peer.
    Mastery Experiences
  6. Find living examples of your hoped-for self
    Identify real people who embody your hoped-for self — their existence makes the representation concrete and credible.
    Possible Selves, Made Practical
  7. Act as if sages were watching — the practice of the philosophical community
    Before any action, ask: would a person I genuinely respect — who embodies the values I aspire to — approve of this?
    Pierre Hadot’s Spiritual Exercises
  8. Act in ways that might elevate others
    Make choices with the awareness that others may be watching and may be lifted by what they see.
    Elevation: The Emotion That Lifts You
  9. Choose a character role model and study their biography
    Find a person — living or historical — whose eulogy virtues you admire and study how they built them.
    The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character
  10. Learn from credible models (vicarious experience)
    Watch someone like you succeed at the thing you fear.
    Self-Efficacy: Building the Belief You Can

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