Coaching practices for Demon Dialogues Sue Johnson

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Demon Dialogues Sue Johnson, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • There’s a voice in my head that won’t stop telling me I’m not enough and I’m selfish, and the harder I try to shut it up the louder it gets
  • We have the same fight over and over with different words on top, and in the moment it always feels like it’s their fault
  • There’s a fear I’ve never actually said out loud to my partner
  • I want to actually tell my partner how scared I am of losing them, in a real way and not in the middle of a fight
  • One part of me wants out, another part won’t let me, and they just war with each other on a loop

Practices that may help

  1. The inner critic dialogue
    Give the inner critic a voice on paper and then respond — the goal is dialogue, not silencing.
    Shadow Work
  2. Recognize your demon dialogue -- the negative cycle running your relationship
    Every stuck couple has a predictable negative loop; naming it together is the first step out.
    Hold Me Tight: Sue Johnson's Seven Conversations for Lasting Love
  3. Hold Me Tight: Sue Johnson's Seven Conversations for Lasting Love
    Hold Me Tight is Sue Johnson's framework -- derived from Emotionally Focused Therapy -- for strengthening adult attachment bonds through seven structured conversations about accessibility, responsiveness, and emotional safety. The therapist-guided EFT version has strong trial evidence; the self-guided book program is less studied but grounded in the same mechanisms.
  4. Have the core Hold Me Tight conversation
    Share what you most need to be heard saying, and receive what your partner most needs you to hear.
    Hold Me Tight: Sue Johnson's Seven Conversations for Lasting Love
  5. Have a Hold Me Tight conversation
    Sue Johnson's structured conversation for reaching past defensiveness to the attachment need underneath.
    Emotionally Focused Therapy: Sue Johnson's Framework for Lasting Bond Repair
  6. Working with Multiple Selves (Chair Work in CFT)
    Give voice to different internal parts — the critic, the anxious self, the compassionate self — to understand and change the dialogue.
    Compassion-Focused Therapy: Calming the Inner Critic
  7. Engage in genuine philosophical dialogue
    Have a conversation with the goal of getting clearer together, not of winning or validating.
    The Examined Life
  8. Make it safe
    Protect psychological safety so the other person can stay in dialogue instead of going silent or hostile.
    Crucial Conversations, Made Practical
  9. Sing the thought: defusion through altered delivery
    Repeat a sticky thought in a ridiculous voice, tune, or accent to reveal it as a mental product, not a fact.
    Cognitive Defusion (ACT), Made Practical
  10. Presenting understanding to a teacher (sanzen)
    Bring your response to the koan directly to a teacher — not as a verbal explanation but as a live demonstration.
    Zen Koans: Inquiry Beyond Reason

Related concerns

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