Coaching practices for Examen Consolation Desolation

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Examen Consolation Desolation, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • When I face where I fell short today I either wave it away as no big deal or I tip straight into hating myself over it
  • Now that the warm feelings have drained out of my practice, I’m forced to see how much I was in it for that glow
  • The good things in my life have gone flat on me
  • When I look back on my day it’s just a checklist of what I did, and it tells me nothing
  • Some parts of my day leave me feeling alive and like myself and others leave me weirdly drained and small, and I usually just push past both

Practices that may help

  1. The Daily Examen: Reviewing the Day
    The Examen is a short, structured evening review from the Ignatian tradition: you replay the day with gratitude and honest attention to where you felt drawn toward or away from your values, then carry one resolve into tomorrow. It is a centuries-old contemplative practice; its benefits are best described as mechanistically plausible and widely reported rather than established by controlled trials.
  2. Face shortfalls with honest sorrow, not shame
    Name where you fell short today without either minimizing it or spiraling into self-punishment.
    The Ignatian Examen: Five Movements of Daily Review
  3. Working with attachments in the night of the senses
    Use the night of the senses to examine what you have been clinging to for identity and security.
    The Dark Night of the Soul: John of the Cross
  4. Occasionally count burdens to sharpen contrast
    Once a month, briefly list your burdens — then return to your blessings and notice the contrast.
    Counting Blessings: The Psychology of Grateful Reflection
  5. Review the day following your feelings
    Walk back through the day in sequence, tracking the emotional quality of each moment.
    The Ignatian Examen: Five Movements of Daily Review
  6. Notice the feelings (consolation and desolation)
    Pay attention to where you felt energized and connected versus drained and pulled away.
    The Daily Examen: Reviewing the Day
  7. Common humanity: remember you are not alone
    Say to yourself: "Suffering is a part of life — I am not alone in this."
    The Self-Compassion Break
  8. Accepting passive purification: not trying to fix it
    The essential move of the dark night is to stop trying to force a return to consolation.
    The Dark Night of the Soul: John of the Cross
  9. Practice poverty (Seneca’s original exercise)
    Spend a few days living simply — plain food, minimal comforts — to prove you can bear it.
    Voluntary Discomfort: The Stoic Practice of Chosen Hardship
  10. Practice voluntary discomfort to weaken the power of desire
    Periodically choose a minor discomfort (cold, hunger, inconvenience) to confirm that you can tolerate more than you fear.
    The Stoic Discipline of Desire

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