Coaching practices for How Do I Deal with Insecurity
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How Do I Deal with Insecurity, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I keep telling myself "I’m great at this, I’ve got this" right before the thing I’m scared of, and it somehow makes me feel worse
- I shrink my life down to avoid any chance of looking foolish
- There’s an area of my life
- I just bombed at something and I’m stuck swinging between making excuses for it and beating myself up over it
- I’ve been waiting for my partner to change first so I can finally feel safe, and I’m exhausted from outsourcing my whole sense of okay to whether they reach for me
Practices that may help
- Use affirmation of values, not affirmation of ability
Affirm that you are a good person with important values — not that you are good at the specific thing you are anxious about.
Self-Affirmation Theory, Made Practical - Shame-attacking exercises
Do something mildly embarrassing on purpose to prove you can survive and function through discomfort.
Unconditional Self-Acceptance - The practice of living consciously
Bring awareness to what you are doing and seeing, rather than acting on autopilot or avoidance.
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical - Affirm a different value after a failure
When you fail in one area, actively invest in a domain where you know you contribute.
Self-Affirmation Theory, Made Practical - Move toward a secure baseline -- in yourself first
Security is a state you can practice moving toward, regardless of which partner moves first.
The Anxious-Avoidant Trap: Why Opposites Attract and Then Struggle - Write about a value that matters to you
Before a stressful or threatening situation, spend five minutes writing about a value that is genuinely important to you.
Self-Affirmation Theory, Made Practical - Seek mentors who name their own uncertainty
Actively look for respected people who openly describe their own learning curve — they recalibrate your model of what mastery looks like.
Impostor Phenomenon, Made Practical - Normalize impostor feelings through selective disclosure
Tell one trusted peer that you sometimes feel like a fraud — you will almost always find the feeling is mutual.
Impostor Phenomenon, Made Practical - Avoiding anti-ideal confirmation: the sculpting that harms
Identify the ways you routinely treat your partner as their non-ideal (worst) self, and stop.
The Michelangelo Phenomenon: How Partners Sculpt Each Other - Keep an evidence log
Record concrete proof of your competence to counter the brain’s habit of discounting it.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, Made Practical
Related concerns
- How Do You Deal With Insecurity
Affirm that you are a good person with important values — not that you are good at the specific thing you are anxious about.
Use affirmation of values, not affirmation of ability
- How To Cope With Insecurity
Actively look for respected people who openly describe their own learning curve — they recalibrate your model of what mastery looks like.
Seek mentors who name their own uncertainty
- How Do I Deal With My Insecurity
Do something mildly embarrassing on purpose to prove you can survive and function through discomfort.
Shame-attacking exercises
- How To Deal With Insecurity As A Man
Security is a state you can practice moving toward, regardless of which partner moves first.
Move toward a secure baseline -- in yourself first
- How To Overcome Insecurity
Do something mildly embarrassing on purpose to prove you can survive and function through discomfort.
- How To Deal With Insecurity As A Christian
Affirm that you are a good person with important values — not that you are good at the specific thing you are anxious about.
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.