Coaching practices for How to Be Kinder

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Be Kinder, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I’ll bend over backwards for everyone else, but the idea of being that gentle with myself feels selfish
• In the moment that I help someone there’s a little glow, but I rush straight on to the next thing and by evening it’s gone
• Some part of me is convinced that if I ease up on myself I’ll go soft and stop trying, so I keep the inner voice harsh on purpose
• My kindness all goes to the same handful of people I already take care of, and it’s started to feel like obligation
• Doing good for people used to give me a real lift, but I’ve fallen into the same couple of gestures on autopilot and now they feel like going through the motions

Practices that may help

1. Include acts of kindness toward yourself
   The kindness architecture that builds well-being includes self-directed kindness — not just other-directed.
   Acts of Kindness, Made Practical
2. Reflect briefly on kind acts after doing them
   Spend two to three minutes at day’s end recalling your kindness acts — the consolidation is part of why the practice works.
   Acts of Kindness, Made Practical
3. Self-kindness over self-judgment
   Respond to your own mistakes with warmth and understanding instead of harsh criticism.
   Self-Compassion, Made Practical
4. Extend kindness toward strangers, not just your inner circle
   Acts of kindness toward strangers often produce stronger well-being benefits than acts toward people you already help routinely.
   Acts of Kindness, Made Practical
5. Vary the acts to prevent hedonic adaptation
   Change the type and target of your kindness acts regularly — repetition dulls the emotional payoff.
   Acts of Kindness, Made Practical
6. Notice the ripple — secondary effects beyond the immediate act
   Watch for how a single act of kindness can propagate through a social network, which amplifies the meaning of the original act.
   Acts of Kindness, Made Practical
7. Loving-kindness toward yourself
   Begin by directing the well-wishes inward — “may I be safe, happy, healthy, at ease.”
   Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation
8. On-the-spot metta in real interactions
   Silently offer a quick well-wish to people you encounter during the day.
   Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation
9. Cluster your acts of kindness into one day
   Do five acts of kindness in a single day rather than spreading them thinly across a week.
   Acts of Kindness, Made Practical
10. Widening the circle of care
    Extend the well-wishes outward in stages: loved one, neutral person, difficult person, all beings.
    Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.