Coaching practices for How to Be More Confident in Yourself Book

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • Everyone tells me to "just believe in myself more," but I’m not sure pumping up my confidence is even the right fix
  • I keep waiting to feel confident before I’ll raise my hand or go for the thing, and the confidence never just shows up
  • I’m always making plans with myself and breaking them, and somewhere along the way I stopped trusting my own word
  • I keep telling myself "I’m great at this, I’ve got this" right before the thing I’m scared of, and it somehow makes me feel worse
  • I’ve tried saying the big confident lines in the mirror and they just ring hollow

Practices that may help

  1. Pair confidence work with honest, accurate appraisal of your actual standing
    Confidence without accurate self-assessment is overconfidence — the goal is calibrated self-belief, not boosted belief.
    Power Posing Revisited
  2. Understand the "become it" claim accurately
    Sustained behavioral practice of confidence — acting as if — can build real self-efficacy over time, through mastery experiences rather than pose duration.
    Power Posing Revisited
  3. Confidence from keeping promises to yourself
    Reliably showing up builds self-trust independent of how any session goes.
    Strength Training for Confidence
  4. The Confidence–Competence Loop
    Genuine confidence is not a prerequisite for action — it is a byproduct of repeated, skill-building experience. The confidence–competence loop describes how small, deliberate actions grow skill, which grows evidence of ability, which grows the willingness to act again.
  5. Use affirmation of values, not affirmation of ability
    Affirm that you are a good person with important values — not that you are good at the specific thing you are anxious about.
    Self-Affirmation Theory, Made Practical
  6. Posture and Confidence, Honestly Explained
    Adopting an upright, open posture is associated with modest improvements in mood, self-perception, and felt confidence — but the dramatic "power posing changes your hormones and risk-taking" claims largely failed to replicate, so be skeptical of those. Think of posture as a small, real nudge on how you feel, not a hormonal hack; this is general wellbeing information, not medical advice.
  7. Affirmations
    Repeat chosen statements about who you are and what you’re committed to.
    The Miracle Morning, Made Practical
  8. Creative Confidence, Made Practical
    Creative confidence, as defined by Tom and David Kelley of IDEO, is the belief that you can generate good ideas and act on them — and research on self-efficacy shows it is learnable, not fixed. The core method is accumulating small creative wins through guided practice, which rebuilds confidence that was typically damaged by early criticism or comparison.
  9. Shame-attacking exercises
    Do something mildly embarrassing on purpose to prove you can survive and function through discomfort.
    Unconditional Self-Acceptance
  10. Keep a competence evidence log
    Write down specific instances of doing the hard thing successfully so the brain has concrete data to draw on.
    The Confidence–Competence Loop

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