Coaching practices for How to Get Over Performance Anxiety in the Bedroom

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I’m so wound up about nailing this presentation that the pressure to be good is exactly what makes me freeze
• Right before I go on, my heart’s pounding, my hands are shaking, my mind’s gone tunnel-narrow and blank
• Right before the test or the big moment, my head is so jammed with what-ifs and dread that there’s no room left to actually think
• The moment I’m up there performing, my head fills with "how do I look, am I blowing this, what are they thinking"
• Every time I face the same kind of high-stakes moment my nerves hit me cold and unpredictable, and I want some small repeatable thing I do beforehand

Practices that may help

1. Use paradoxical intention for performance anxiety
   Before a performance, commit to performing as badly as possible — notice what happens to the anxiety.
   Logotherapy: Paradoxical Intention
2. De-activation Strategies for Over-Arousal
   Use targeted techniques to reduce arousal when anxiety or over-activation is undermining performance.
   The Yerkes-Dodson Law: Finding Your Optimal Performance Zone
3. Write about your worries before a high-stakes performance
   Offload performance anxiety by writing it out in full immediately before the event.
   Choking Under Pressure, Made Practical
4. Shift to task-focused attention under performance anxiety
   Redirect attention from self-monitoring and outcome worry to the specific process cues of the task at hand.
   Attentional Deployment, Made Practical
5. Create a pre-performance ritual that includes posture
   A consistent pre-performance ritual — including posture — reduces anxiety and improves performance more reliably than any single element.
   Power Posing Revisited
6. Apply EFT to specific performance anxiety triggers
   EFT has the strongest self-guided evidence for test anxiety, public speaking, and sports performance stress.
   EFT Tapping: What It Is, How to Do It, and What the Evidence Shows
7. Recalibrate arousal as readiness, not threat
   Reinterpret pre-performance anxiety as energy and readiness rather than evidence of inadequacy.
   Mastery Experiences
8. Reappraise anxiety as excitement before high-stakes performance
   Tell yourself "I’m excited" rather than "I’m nervous" — the physiology is the same, the performance effect is not.
   Choking Under Pressure, Made Practical
9. Reappraise physiological arousal as activation, not anxiety
   Tell yourself "I’m excited" rather than "I’m nervous" — the physiology is identical; the label changes performance.
   The Clutch State: Performing Under Pressure
10. Build scripts for situation entry and transitions
    Prepare simple, natural openers and transitions so you’re not improvising from scratch under pressure.
    Overcoming Shyness: Philip Zimbardo’s Framework

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