Coaching practices for How to Move on From Marriage

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Move on From Marriage, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • After the baby, the move, the hard year, we just quietly stopped reaching for each other
  • People keep telling me I need to let them go and move on, and everything in me refuses
  • Something I built my life around has ended
  • They handled the money, or the cooking, or were just the person I leaned on
  • We survive the fight and then just move on like it never happened, so the same argument keeps coming back

Practices that may help

  1. Rekindling after a drift: returning to aliveness
    Recognize a drift in erotic connection as normal — and name it as the beginning of a renewal, not a failure.
    Mating in Captivity: Sustaining Desire in Long-Term Relationships
  2. Task 4: Find an enduring connection with the deceased
    Relocate the relationship from physical presence to an internal, meaningful connection.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  3. Reframing loss as transformation
    When something ends or is lost, practise asking what it is becoming rather than only mourning what it was.
    Zhuangzi and the Practice of Perspective Shift
  4. Task 3: Adjust to a world without the person
    Actively develop new skills, roles, and identity elements to navigate the changed life.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  5. Debrief and repair after the conflict is over
    The conversation after the fight -- done calmly -- is where lasting repair happens.
    Repair Attempts: Gottman's Key to Surviving Conflict in Relationships
  6. R — Recall the hurt
    Face what happened deliberately and calmly, without minimizing it or replaying it as a victim.
    Forgiveness: The REACH Model
  7. Task 1: Accept the full reality of the loss
    Move from intellectual acknowledgement to full emotional acceptance that the person is gone.
    Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
  8. Repair quickly and thoroughly
    Don’t let injuries accumulate — repair within hours or days, not weeks.
    Secure-Functioning Relationships
  9. Withdrawer: signal presence before retreating
    Before you need to step back, tell your partner you are coming back.
    The Pursuer-Withdrawer Cycle, Explained
  10. Imagine the absence of a key relationship
    Vividly imagine your life without a person you love — specifically, in detail, what would be missing.
    Negative Visualization for Gratitude: The Stoic Path to Appreciation

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