Coaching practices for How to Stop Numbing Feelings

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • The second something gets uncomfortable I reach for the phone or the wine or just more to do, and lately I’ve noticed the good stuff has gone flat too
  • With feelings it’s all or nothing for me
  • I keep telling myself the scrolling and the drinking are just me unwinding, but I notice I come out the other side emptier, not calmer
  • I’ve gone numb to the good things right in front of me
  • I’m stuck at one of two extremes with hard feelings

Practices that may help

  1. Stop numbing vulnerability
    Notice how you numb hard feelings — and feel them instead, because you can’t numb selectively.
    Daring Greatly, Made Practical
  2. Stay with sensation without flooding (titrate)
    Build the capacity to feel a sensation in tolerable doses instead of numbing or being swept away.
    Interoception, Explained
  3. Distinguish soothing from numbing
    Know the difference between self-soothing (active, present) and numbing (passive escape) — both reduce distress but in opposite directions.
    Self-Soothing, Made Practical
  4. Mental subtraction (imagine it gone)
    Briefly picture losing what you already have, to restore appreciation for it.
    Premeditatio Malorum, in Depth
  5. Mindful awareness of suffering
    Hold painful feelings in balanced awareness — neither suppressing them nor being swept away by them.
    Self-Compassion, Made Practical
  6. Havening to soften acute grief activation
    Use gentle touch and brief distraction to lower the physiological intensity of grief surges.
    Self-Havening: Calming the Nervous System Through Touch
  7. Label instead of suppress
    Choose describing the feeling over clamping it down or distracting from it.
    Affect Labeling: Name It to Tame It
  8. Come up from shutdown
    When you are numb or foggy below the window, use stimulation to bring energy back up.
    The Window of Tolerance: Your Optimal Arousal Zone
  9. Adapt grounding for dissociation and derealization
    When the world feels unreal, use stronger, more salient sensory inputs — cold, pressure, sharp flavors.
    The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
  10. ACCEPTS — structured distraction from crisis
    Use Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, and Sensations to redirect attention during a crisis.
    Distress Tolerance Skills, Made Practical

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