Coaching practices for Identity and Goals
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Identity and Goals, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- The moment a goal gets hard I lose all sense of why I’m even doing it
- Every time I set goals they end up being what I think I’m supposed to want
- I’ve got this whole list of goals and I honestly can’t tell anymore which ones are mine versus which I took on to look right or quiet the guilt
- I’m years into chasing something I committed to as a different version of myself, and it doesn’t fit who I am now
- This used to be something I wanted, but ever since my boss started tracking it and someone’s always checking in, it’s curdled into a chore I do for them
Practices that may help
- Anchor each goal to a named, personal value
Make the goal an expression of a specific value so it stays motivating when difficulty peaks.
Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical - Excavate core values before writing goals
Identify what you most fundamentally care about before deciding what you want — or goals will be other people’s.
The Life Crafting Intervention: Scripting Your Future Self - Audit why you are pursuing each goal
Check whether each goal is driven by interest and values or by guilt and external pressure.
Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical - Review goal-self fit at regular intervals
As you grow, some formerly self-concordant goals become misaligned — review them deliberately.
Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical - Protect your sense of autonomy while pursuing the goal
Keep the goal yours even when a coach, boss, or partner is involved in it.
Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical - Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical
Self-concordant goals, from Kennon Sheldon, are goals you pursue because they express who you genuinely are or what truly interests you — not because of guilt, social pressure, or external reward. Research finds that self-concordant goals are pursued with more sustained effort and produce greater well-being when achieved, even when the objective difficulty is held constant. - Build a coherent narrative across your three plans
Find the values and themes that appear across all three plans — they are your non-negotiables.
Odyssey Plans: Designing Three Alternative Futures - Using your ranked values as a coaching north star
Return to your ranked values list every time a goal, project, or decision feels off-track.
Values Card Sort - Internalize goals you did not choose
Move externally set goals along the spectrum from "have to" toward "value".
Self-Determination Theory, Made Usable - Move extrinsic goals toward internalization
Compliance → identification → integration: you can gradually own a goal that started as external pressure.
Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation: What the Research Actually Shows
Related concerns
- Self Concordant Goals For My Teenager
Self-concordant goals, from Kennon Sheldon, are goals you pursue because they express who you genuinely are or what truly interests you — not because of guilt, social pressure, or external reward. Research finds that self-concordant goals are pursued with more sustained effort and produce greater well-being when achieved, even when the objective difficulty is held constant.
- Self Concordant Goals When Starting Out
Self-concordant goals, from Kennon Sheldon, are goals you pursue because they express who you genuinely are or what truly interests you — not because of guilt, social pressure, or external reward. Research finds that self-concordant goals are pursued with more sustained effort and produce greater well-being when achieved, even when the objective difficulty is held constant.
- What Makes A Goal Self Concordant
Self-concordant goals, from Kennon Sheldon, are goals you pursue because they express who you genuinely are or what truly interests you — not because of guilt, social pressure, or external reward. Research finds that self-concordant goals are pursued with more sustained effort and produce greater well-being when achieved, even when the objective difficulty is held constant.
- Compass Goals
Keep the goal yours even when a coach, boss, or partner is involved in it.
Protect your sense of autonomy while pursuing the goal
- Internalize Goals
Move externally set goals along the spectrum from "have to" toward "value".
Internalize goals you did not choose
- Self Concordant Goals As A Parent
Self-concordant goals, from Kennon Sheldon, are goals you pursue because they express who you genuinely are or what truly interests you — not because of guilt, social pressure, or external reward. Research finds that self-concordant goals are pursued with more sustained effort and produce greater well-being when achieved, even when the objective difficulty is held constant.
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