Coaching practices for Self Concordant Goals as a Parent

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Self Concordant Goals as a Parent, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • This used to be something I wanted, but ever since my boss started tracking it and someone’s always checking in, it’s curdled into a chore I do for them
  • I want my child to carry a solid sense of who they are even when I’m not there to remind them
  • Every time I set goals they end up being what I think I’m supposed to want
  • I’m years into chasing something I committed to as a different version of myself, and it doesn’t fit who I am now
  • The moment a goal gets hard I lose all sense of why I’m even doing it

Practices that may help

  1. Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical
    Self-concordant goals, from Kennon Sheldon, are goals you pursue because they express who you genuinely are or what truly interests you — not because of guilt, social pressure, or external reward. Research finds that self-concordant goals are pursued with more sustained effort and produce greater well-being when achieved, even when the objective difficulty is held constant.
  2. Protect your sense of autonomy while pursuing the goal
    Keep the goal yours even when a coach, boss, or partner is involved in it.
    Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical
  3. Build the child’s inner wealth narrative over time
    Consistently reflect back who the child is becoming, not just what they’re doing.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  4. Excavate core values before writing goals
    Identify what you most fundamentally care about before deciding what you want — or goals will be other people’s.
    The Life Crafting Intervention: Scripting Your Future Self
  5. Review goal-self fit at regular intervals
    As you grow, some formerly self-concordant goals become misaligned — review them deliberately.
    Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical
  6. Anchor each goal to a named, personal value
    Make the goal an expression of a specific value so it stays motivating when difficulty peaks.
    Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical
  7. Audit why you are pursuing each goal
    Check whether each goal is driven by interest and values or by guilt and external pressure.
    Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical
  8. Celebrate growth, not just goal attainment
    Recognize progress in who you are becoming, not only whether you hit the number.
    Self-Concordant Goals, Made Practical
  9. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
    Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
  10. Internalize goals you did not choose
    Move externally set goals along the spectrum from "have to" toward "value".
    Self-Determination Theory, Made Usable

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