Coaching practices for If Toddlers Preschoolers Develop a Short Temper How Can We Consciously Try to Change it

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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • There are a few situations that go badly every single time
  • My child reacts to everything on pure impulse and never seems to stop and think how the other kid feels, and I want to actually build that thinking-and-considering muscle during our good calm moments, not just keep firefighting once they’ve already lost it.
  • We keep having the exact same blow-up over the exact same thing, and I’m starting to wonder if my kid genuinely doesn’t know how to handle that moment any other way
  • My kid melts down and my instinct is to fix it or shut it down fast, and the tantrum just gets bigger
  • When my kid acts out I lose it

Practices that may help

  1. Plan behavior management strategies in advance
    Decide how you will respond to predictable problems before they happen.
    Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
  2. Engage the upstairs brain through curiosity and play
    Ask questions that require the child to think, imagine, or consider another perspective.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)
  3. Take time for training — teach the skill, not just the rule
    Children misbehave partly because they don’t know how to do the right thing — teach the skill when everyone is calm.
    Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
  4. Labeling emotions in children: the parenting application
    When a child is upset, name their emotion aloud and validate it before attempting to solve or redirect.
    Name It to Tame It: Affect Labeling in Practice
  5. Refuse to energize negative behavior
    Give consequences briefly and blandly — no energy, no lecture, no drama.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  6. Treat the emotional moment as a teaching opportunity
    When your child is upset, slow down instead of speeding toward resolution.
    Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)
  7. Hold Plan B conversations proactively, not reactively
    Solve the problem before the next explosion, when everyone is calm.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
  8. Manage your own emotional state before responding
    A regulated parent is the single most powerful behavior management tool available.
    Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
  9. Recognize what is not happening with proactive recognition
    Catch the child not misbehaving and name the success explicitly.
    The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser)
  10. Connect emotionally before you redirect or teach
    The downstairs brain has to be acknowledged before the upstairs brain can hear anything.
    The Whole-Brain Child (Siegel & Bryson)

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