Coaching practices for Ifs Parts Mapping During Conflict

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Ifs Parts Mapping During Conflict, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I’ve named my inner voices, but I keep going straight at the one that hurts most and it just slams the door harder
  • A part of me that used to be brutally harsh has genuinely softened lately, but I notice I’m still relating to it like the old enemy it used to be
  • I can sense my parts one at a time but I can never hold the whole thing in my head at once
  • I keep working on my inner critic and nothing shifts, and I’m realizing it’s because the second the critic eases off, the part that procrastinates takes over
  • There’s a situation coming up

Practices that may help

  1. IFS Parts Mapping, Made Practical
    Parts mapping is an Internal Family Systems (Richard Schwartz) practice of systematically identifying and visually or narratively charting the distinct inner parts — critics, worriers, peacekeepers, wounded exiles — and their relationships to each other. It is a diagnostic and orientation tool: it shows you the terrain of your inner system before you try to work with any single part. Evidence sits within the broader IFS and parts-work literature, which is growing but not yet on par with CBT or DBT.
  2. Distinguish protectors from exiles
    Sort your parts into those who manage and firefight (protectors) vs those who carry old wounds (exiles).
    IFS Parts Mapping, Made Practical
  3. Update the map as parts shift
    Revisit and revise the map after significant inner work — the system changes, and the map should too.
    IFS Parts Mapping, Made Practical
  4. Draw or sketch the inner system visually
    Put parts and their relationships on paper — who is close to whom, who holds whom at arm’s length.
    IFS Parts Mapping, Made Practical
  5. Track the relationships between parts
    Notice how parts trigger, protect, and sometimes war with each other — the system’s dynamics are as important as its members.
    IFS Parts Mapping, Made Practical
  6. Use the map to prepare for known triggers
    Before a triggering situation, identify which part is likely to activate and what it will need.
    IFS Parts Mapping, Made Practical
  7. Map interests for both sides before generating solutions
    Write down both parties’ known and inferred interests before proposing anything — the map reveals trades that no single position could.
    Interests vs. Positions: The Core of Integrative Negotiation
  8. Recognize when to shift modes mid-conflict
    The mode that’s right at the start of a conversation may not be right ten minutes in.
    The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)
  9. Identify your default conflict mode
    Before you can choose a mode, you have to know which one you use automatically.
    The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)
  10. Separate the person from the problem
    Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
    The Third Alternative, Made Practical

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