Coaching practices for Implementation Intentions Parenting

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Implementation Intentions Parenting, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • There are a few situations that go badly every single time
  • I genuinely intend to do the thing
  • I genuinely mean to do it, but the day swallows it every time and “I’ll get to it” never actually turns into doing it
  • I keep telling myself I’ll get to it "sometime today" and then the day just dissolves and I never do
  • I’ve identified the area I want to change and now I’m just sitting on a vague intention like "be more present with my kids"

Practices that may help

  1. Plan behavior management strategies in advance
    Decide how you will respond to predictable problems before they happen.
    Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
  2. Set if-then implementation intentions for goal behaviors
    Specify when, where, and how you’ll act — not just whether you intend to.
    Hyperbolic Discounting — Why Future You Always Gets the Short End
  3. Write when, where, and how plans for every behavioral goal
    Specify exactly when, where, and how you will act — not just what you intend to do.
    Action Planning
  4. Specify the when and where for every goal action
    "I will do [behavior] at [time] in [location]" — specificity creates an automatic trigger.
    If–Then Planning, Made Practical
  5. Turn the chosen domain into a committed action
    Convert the domain insight into a concrete, timed, values-linked behavior — not a vague intention.
    Values Bullseye, Made Practical
  6. End every AAR with one specific, time-bound next action
    An AAR without a concrete next action produces insight without change.
    After-Action Review: The US Army’s Tool for Continuous Learning
  7. Action Planning
    Action planning — specifying when, where, and how you will execute a goal-directed behavior — is one of the best-supported techniques for closing the intention-behavior gap. Orbell and Sheeran’s research, along with Peter Gollwitzer’s work on implementation intentions, shows that forming specific plans reliably increases behavior over vague intentions alone, with meta-analytic effect sizes in the small-to-medium range.
  8. Identify the mistaken goal behind the misbehavior
    Dreikurs argued that misbehavior is always purposeful — the child is pursuing belonging or significance through a mistaken strategy.
    Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
  9. Say yes to bids for connection before enforcing limits
    A child’s capacity to accept limits depends on how connected they feel to the person setting them.
    Authoritative Parenting (Diana Baumrind)
  10. Use commitment devices to make future behavior harder to avoid
    Pre-commit to the behavior now — when your current self is motivated — to bind your future self.
    Action Planning

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