Coaching practices for Possible Selves During a Big Change

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Possible Selves During a Big Change, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I’m still grinding toward a version of "successful me" I dreamed up years ago, and it’s stopped lighting me up
  • The inspiring vision of who I want to be gets me fired up for a day or two and then quietly fades
  • I’ve got this clear, vivid picture of the person I want to become, and I love daydreaming about them
  • I’m standing at a real fork right now and going in circles
  • I keep running this other life in my head, imagining how amazing or how awful it would be, but it’s all guesswork

Practices that may help

  1. Possible Selves, Made Practical
    Hazel Markus’s possible-selves framework holds that motivation is driven not only by who we are now but by vivid mental representations of who we could become — including hoped-for and feared future selves. These cognitive structures provide direction and energy for behavior, and deliberately developing them is a tractable approach to sustained motivation.
  2. Update and revise possible selves over time
    Revisit and rewrite your possible selves at least twice a year — the self you need to become changes as you grow.
    Possible Selves, Made Practical
  3. Pair the hoped-for self with a feared counterpart
    Identify the feared version of your future self in the same domain — the pairing produces more sustained motivation than hope alone.
    Possible Selves, Made Practical
  4. Build a behavioral bridge to the possible self
    Identify one specific behavior your hoped-for self does that you can do today — then do it.
    Possible Selves, Made Practical
  5. Filter decisions through "what would future me thank me for?"
    Before significant decisions, ask whether your future self will be grateful or resentful.
    Future Self Continuity, Made Practical
  6. Run prototyping conversations before committing to a plan
    Talk to people already living your Plan B or C before you decide whether to pursue it.
    Odyssey Plans: Designing Three Alternative Futures
  7. Find living examples of your hoped-for self
    Identify real people who embody your hoped-for self — their existence makes the representation concrete and credible.
    Possible Selves, Made Practical
  8. Draft three genuinely different five-year plans
    Sketch three distinct five-year lives — not variations on the same theme, but genuinely different directions.
    Odyssey Plans: Designing Three Alternative Futures
  9. Future Self Continuity, Made Practical
    Hal Hershfield’s research shows that most people experience their future self as a stranger — neurologically similar to perceiving another person rather than themselves. This psychological distance explains impulsive decisions that trade future wellbeing for present comfort. Practices that increase felt connection to the future self reduce this discounting and improve decisions ranging from saving to health behavior.
  10. Write a letter from your future self to your present self
    Ask your 70-year-old self to write back to you now — with gratitude or regret.
    Future Self Continuity, Made Practical

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