Coaching practices for Situation Selection with My Team
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Situation Selection with My Team, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I know exactly what fills me back up
- Some people leave me lit up and others leave me flat and small, but I keep giving the most of my time to the draining ones out of habit or obligation
- There are a few things that matter enormously to me
- There’s a hard conversation or event I can’t get out of, and I just brace to white-knuckle through it
- My team is genuinely running well without me now, but I keep inserting myself into decisions they could make
Practices that may help
- Situation Selection, Made Practical
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused. - Design your situation for positive emotion, not just negative avoidance
Situation selection is not only about avoiding what is harmful — it includes actively scheduling what is emotionally nourishing.
Situation Selection, Made Practical - Curate your social situation portfolio
Who you spend time with, and in what contexts, is perhaps the highest-leverage situation selection available to most people.
Situation Selection, Made Practical - Develop regulation strategies for high-value, difficult situations
For the situations you must enter despite their emotional cost, invest in regulation capacity rather than avoidance.
Situation Selection, Made Practical - Modify situations before entering them
When you must enter a difficult situation, shape it in advance to reduce its emotional cost.
Situation Selection, Made Practical - Performing: step back and protect the conditions
A Performing team needs air cover and resources, not direction.
Tuckman’s Stages of Team Development - Establish an explicit delegation protocol for Q3 tasks
Define in advance who receives which types of urgent-but-not-important tasks — before they arrive.
The Eisenhower Matrix for Teams - Evaluate solutions against costs, benefits, and fit
Rate each solution on likelihood of success, personal costs, and fit with your values.
Problem-Solving Therapy, Made Practical - Diagnose which safety stage your team is currently in
Before intervening, accurately assess whether the deficit is inclusion, learner, contributor, or challenger safety.
The Four Stages of Psychological Safety - Run a single weekly priority-setting meeting
Replace ad-hoc priority requests with one weekly meeting where the whole team re-sorts together.
The Eisenhower Matrix for Teams
Related concerns
- Situation Selection For My Teenager
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused.
- Situation Selection On A Budget
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused.
- Broaden And Build Situation Selection
Situation selection is not only about avoiding what is harmful — it includes actively scheduling what is emotionally nourishing.
Design your situation for positive emotion, not just negative avoidance
- Situation Selection After A Loss
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused.
- Situation Selection As A Caregiver
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused.
- Situation Selection As A Parent
Situation selection is James Gross’s most upstream emotion regulation strategy: deliberately choosing which situations to enter or avoid based on the emotional consequences they are likely to produce. Because it prevents unwanted emotions from arising rather than managing them after the fact, it is the most efficient regulatory strategy — and the most underused.
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