Coaching practices for The Eulogy Virtues Building a Life of Character Before Bed
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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- If someone stood up at my funeral tomorrow and told the truth about how I actually treat people, I’m not sure I’d like what they’d have to say
- There’s a quality — real courage, say, or quiet generosity — that I admire deeply but have no idea how to actually grow in myself, and I want to find a real person who built it under pressure and trace how they did it, because right now it just feels like an abstract wish.
- There’s one moral failing of mine
- My days get eaten by what’s urgent and I never zoom out to ask who I actually want to have been
- I’ve gotten so used to being the one who’s right that I’ve stopped really listening, and I can feel it closing me off
Practices that may help
- The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest. - Write your own eulogy first
Draft what you want said about your character at your funeral — then measure the gap against your life now.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - Choose a character role model and study their biography
Find a person — living or historical — whose eulogy virtues you admire and study how they built them.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - Name and wrestle with your besetting weakness
Identify the one recurring moral failure and choose a practice that confronts it daily.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - The eulogy exercise: working backward from the life you want
Write a brief eulogy for yourself that describes who you were and how you lived — then work backward to what that requires today.
Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical - Practice structured humility
Regularly seek evidence that you’re wrong, limited, or have more to learn — and sit with it.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - Use the eulogy / future-self lens
Imagine how you’d want to be remembered to reveal the values you’d defend most.
Values Clarification, Made Practical - Make a commitment that transcends self-interest
Bind yourself to a person, cause, or calling that comes before your own preferences.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - Building character through deliberate repetition
Choose one character quality you want to embody and perform one specific act of it daily until it no longer requires effort.
Aristotelian Eudaimonia: Flourishing Through Virtue - Learn from suffering rather than managing it away
Let a period of difficulty become a curriculum — ask what it is teaching you about yourself.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character
Related concerns
- Eulogy Virtues
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
- The Eulogy Virtues Building A Life Of Character After A Loss
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
- The Eulogy Virtues Building A Life Of Character At Work
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
- The Eulogy Virtues Building A Life Of Character During A Big Change
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
- The Eulogy Virtues Building A Life Of Character With Friends
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
- The Eulogy Virtues Building A Life Of Character With My Team
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
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