Coaching practices for The Eulogy Virtues Building a Life of Character with My Team
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Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- There’s a quality — real courage, say, or quiet generosity — that I admire deeply but have no idea how to actually grow in myself, and I want to find a real person who built it under pressure and trace how they did it, because right now it just feels like an abstract wish.
- If someone stood up at my funeral tomorrow and told the truth about how I actually treat people, I’m not sure I’d like what they’d have to say
- My days get eaten by what’s urgent and I never zoom out to ask who I actually want to have been
- I can’t tell which of my values are truly mine and which I just absorbed from my parents or my culture
- There’s one moral failing of mine
Practices that may help
- The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest. - Choose a character role model and study their biography
Find a person — living or historical — whose eulogy virtues you admire and study how they built them.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - Write your own eulogy first
Draft what you want said about your character at your funeral — then measure the gap against your life now.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - The eulogy exercise: working backward from the life you want
Write a brief eulogy for yourself that describes who you were and how you lived — then work backward to what that requires today.
Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical - Use the eulogy / future-self lens
Imagine how you’d want to be remembered to reveal the values you’d defend most.
Values Clarification, Made Practical - Name and wrestle with your besetting weakness
Identify the one recurring moral failure and choose a practice that confronts it daily.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - Practice structured humility
Regularly seek evidence that you’re wrong, limited, or have more to learn — and sit with it.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - Learn from suffering rather than managing it away
Let a period of difficulty become a curriculum — ask what it is teaching you about yourself.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - Make a commitment that transcends self-interest
Bind yourself to a person, cause, or calling that comes before your own preferences.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character - Know your two selves (Adam I and Adam II)
Distinguish the self that wants to build and achieve from the self that wants to be good.
The Eulogy Virtues: Building a Life of Character
Related concerns
- The Eulogy Virtues Building A Life Of Character At Work
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
- Eulogy Virtues
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
- The Eulogy Virtues Building A Life Of Character After A Loss
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
- The Eulogy Virtues Building A Life Of Character Before Bed
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
- The Eulogy Virtues Building A Life Of Character During A Big Change
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
- The Eulogy Virtues Building A Life Of Character With Friends
David Brooks distinguishes two sets of virtues: résumé virtues — the skills and achievements that get you hired — and eulogy virtues — the moral qualities like courage, honesty, and loyalty that people mention when you die. His argument is that modern culture relentlessly develops the first set while neglecting the second, and that deliberately cultivating character requires different work: self-examination, wrestling with weakness, and submission to commitments beyond self-interest.
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