Coaching practices for The Examined Life with Friends

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Examined Life with Friends, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I’m living by a whole set of rules about how life should go, and it’s started to dawn on me that I never actually chose most of them
  • There’s a "this is just how it’s done" rule everyone in my world treats as gospel
  • Every conversation in my life is about logistics or careers or complaints, and I’m starving for somewhere I can actually talk through how to live
  • I say family and health are what matter most to me, but if you looked at where my hours and attention actually went this month you’d never guess it
  • I pour myself into work and goals while the handful of friendships that actually mean everything to me quietly go untended for months

Practices that may help

  1. The Examined Life
    Socrates’ claim that "the unexamined life is not worth living" (Apology, 38a) means that a life lived without sustained reflection on one’s values, beliefs, and actions is a kind of sleepwalking. The Socratic method — elenchus — is a specific form of examination: honest questioning that surfaces inconsistencies and untested assumptions. As a practice, it overlaps with metacognition and reflective practice, which have genuine evidence bases, though Socrates’ philosophical claim is stronger than any psychological finding.
  2. Conduct a regular examined-life audit
    Periodically ask: which of the beliefs I am living by have I actually examined, and which am I just inheriting?
    The Socratic Method, Made Practical
  3. Question what everyone takes for granted
    Choose one widely shared assumption — in your field, your culture, or your circle — and examine it honestly.
    The Examined Life
  4. Creating a philosophical community of practice
    Form or join a small group that meets regularly to examine how to live well — not just to succeed.
    Epicurean Philosophy: Practical Happiness
  5. Know thyself — map your actual values against your actions
    Compare what you say you value with what your behavior reveals you actually value.
    The Examined Life
  6. Treating friendship as the most essential pleasure
    Invest in the quality of a small number of close friendships as your primary wellbeing strategy.
    Epicurean Philosophy: Practical Happiness
  7. Engage in genuine philosophical dialogue
    Have a conversation with the goal of getting clearer together, not of winning or validating.
    The Examined Life
  8. Schedule deliberate investment in your important friendships
    Identify your most important friendships and make a concrete plan to reach out this week — not when conditions are easier.
    The Regret of the Dying
  9. Practicing "social fitness"
    Tend your relationships like physical fitness — regularly, not only when something breaks.
    The Good Life: Lessons from the Harvard Study
  10. The Daily Examen: Reviewing the Day
    The Examen is a short, structured evening review from the Ignatian tradition: you replay the day with gratitude and honest attention to where you felt drawn toward or away from your values, then carry one resolve into tomorrow. It is a centuries-old contemplative practice; its benefits are best described as mechanistically plausible and widely reported rather than established by controlled trials.

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