Coaching practices for The Morning Questions with My Partner

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Morning Questions with My Partner, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Our check-ins have shrunk to "how was your day" / "fine" and nothing real ever opens up
• When my partner and I do sit down to talk, we go straight to the problems and grievances
• My partner and I have boiled our talking down to schedules and chores, and it hit me that the version of them in my head is years out of date
• Real conversation with my partner only happens by accident now, and when life gets busy it’s the first thing to vanish
• I’m curious about my partner but I give almost nothing of myself back

Practices that may help

1. The Morning Questions
   Marshall Goldsmith’s morning questions are a daily active question routine in which you score yourself each morning on whether you "did your best" to pursue specific values-based commitments the previous day. The practice reframes self-monitoring from passive measurement ("how did X go?") to active responsibility ("did I try?"), which research on active questions suggests produces greater engagement and honest self-assessment. The evidence base is practitioner-clinical; large-scale trials are limited.
2. Ask open-ended map-building questions
   Replace generic check-ins with questions that open a window into your partner's inner life.
   Love Maps: Knowing Your Partner's Inner World
3. Open with appreciation before anything else
   Start by naming one genuine thing your partner did this week that you valued.
   The Relationship Check-In: A Structured Practice for Staying Connected
4. Practice openness through regular self-disclosure
   Share your thoughts, feelings, and daily experiences — not just problems.
   Relationship Maintenance Behaviors
5. Build shared rituals that update your map
   Create recurring moments designed to share inner worlds, not just coordinate schedules.
   Love Maps: Knowing Your Partner's Inner World
6. Share your own inner world to build the map reciprocally
   Let your partner map you -- disclose what is actually on your mind, not just the surface.
   Love Maps: Knowing Your Partner's Inner World
7. Ask "How are we doing?" as a genuine question
   Invite both partners to rate and describe the overall relationship state this week.
   The Relationship Check-In: A Structured Practice for Staying Connected
8. Build and update love maps
   Keep a detailed, current map of your partner’s inner world — worries, hopes, history.
   The Gottman Method, Made Practical
9. Reframe passive questions as active questions
   Ask "did I do my best to...?" rather than "how was my...?" — the word "try" changes what the question measures.
   The Morning Questions
10. Sharing scores with an accountability partner
    Send your daily scores to someone — the act of disclosure meaningfully increases follow-through.
    The Morning Questions

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