Coaching practices for The Regret of the Dying with Friends

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For The Regret of the Dying with Friends, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • The friends who used to matter most have quietly slipped to "we should catch up sometime," and I keep meaning to reach out but life never stops being busy
  • I keep telling myself family comes first, but when I actually look at where my hours went this week it’s almost all work
  • I’m stuck on a real decision and lost in the noise of it, and I want to step back and ask how the version of me at the very end of life would see this
  • Everyone’s gone quiet about them, like saying their name would upset me, so I never get to hear other people’s memories
  • Now that the end feels close, I keep wondering what I’ll leave behind and whether any of it lasts

Practices that may help

  1. The Regret of the Dying
    Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse, documented the most common regrets of dying patients in her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. The themes — especially living others’ expectations, working too hard, suppressing feelings, and neglecting friendships — are consistent with broader research on regret and well-being. The evidence is qualitative and self-reported; treat it as wisdom data, not clinical data.
  2. Schedule deliberate investment in your important friendships
    Identify your most important friendships and make a concrete plan to reach out this week — not when conditions are easier.
    The Regret of the Dying
  3. Audit work hours against your stated priorities
    Compare how you actually spend your time this week against what you say matters most.
    The Regret of the Dying
  4. Use mortality salience to clarify what actually matters
    Regularly reflect on finitude — not to produce dread, but to sharpen the signal-to-noise ratio of your choices.
    The Regret of the Dying
  5. Share the continuing bond in community
    Talk about the person with others who knew and loved them, keeping the relationship alive in shared memory.
    Continuing Bonds in Grief, Made Practical
  6. Reflect on the legacy you are building
    Considering how you wish to be remembered connects present actions to a meaning that extends beyond your lifespan.
    Meaning-Centered Therapy, Made Practical
  7. Audit whether you are living your life or someone else’s
    Identify the places where your choices reflect others’ expectations rather than your own values.
    The Regret of the Dying
  8. Apply the deathbed test to current decisions
    When facing a trade-off, ask which option the future you will wish you had chosen.
    The Bucket List Method
  9. Write a brief final accounting
    Write as if you’re reporting on your life: what did you do with your time?
    Memento Mori: Using Mortality Awareness to Focus What Matters
  10. Melete thanatou — meditation on death
    Briefly contemplate your own death today to clarify what actually matters.
    Pierre Hadot’s Spiritual Exercises

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