Coaching practices for Ways to Cope with Your Emotions

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Ways to Cope with Your Emotions, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• When a big feeling crashes over me it’s like I become it
• There’s a real part of this I could actually do something about, but instead of acting I just sit and stew in how I feel about it
• I keep making plans and trying to fix something that genuinely can’t be fixed
• I feel the jealousy or the hurt and then immediately pile on a second layer of "I shouldn’t feel this, a mature person wouldn’t"
• I’ve got my go-to ways of coping that feel justified and even comforting in the moment, but when I’m honest nothing is actually getting better

Practices that may help

1. Mindfulness of the current emotion
   Observe the emotion as a wave passing through — without judging it, feeding it, or running from it.
   DBT Emotion Regulation Skills, Made Practical
2. Apply problem-focused coping to changeable stressors
   When the stressor is changeable, direct your energy at the situation rather than managing feelings about it.
   Lazarus Appraisal Theory, Made Practical
3. Apply emotion-focused coping to uncontrollable stressors
   When the stressor cannot be changed, invest your energy in how you relate to the experience rather than fighting the situation.
   Lazarus Appraisal Theory, Made Practical
4. Give yourself permission to feel
   Drop the judgment about whether you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way — the emotion is already there.
   Radical Honesty About Emotions, Made Practical
5. Ask the workability question
   Ask "is what I am doing working?" — not "is it right?" but whether it is moving you toward the life you want.
   Emotional Agility, Made Practical
6. Graduated anger inoculation (stress inoculation exposure)
   Practice coping with anger in imagination — from mild triggers to intense ones — before you face them live.
   Novaco Anger Management, Made Practical
7. Opposite action
   When an emotion doesn’t fit the facts or is unhelpful, act opposite to its urge — fully and wholeheartedly.
   DBT Emotion Regulation Skills, Made Practical
8. ACCEPTS — structured distraction from crisis
   Use Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, and Sensations to redirect attention during a crisis.
   Distress Tolerance Skills, Made Practical
9. Name the emotions the situation will likely produce
   Predict which feelings will show up and at what intensity — so they are not surprises when they arrive.
   Cope Ahead: DBT’s Method for Preparing for Difficult Situations
10. Match coping mode to what is actually controllable
    Use problem-focused coping when you can change the situation; emotion-focused coping when you cannot.
    Stress Inoculation Training

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