Coaching practices for What Matters Most in Life

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For What Matters Most in Life, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• The people I love most have drifted to the bottom of my contacts
• I want to feel like I make a difference to someone, and I keep waiting for that to land on me from the outside
• I keep tolerating things and putting off what matters as if I had endless time, and I want to let the plain fact that I don’t cut through the trivial stuff
• If someone asked me what I actually care about, I’m not sure I could answer honestly
• I end most days exhausted and still feel like I touched nothing that matters

Practices that may help

1. Ask the people who matter to you how they are — and really listen
   Check in on someone in a way that signals they are on your mind, not just in your address book.
   Mattering: Feeling Like You Count
2. Make someone else feel they matter — specifically
   Tell a specific person, specifically, that they are noticed and important to you.
   Mattering: Feeling Like You Count
3. Mattering: Feeling Like You Count
   Gordon Flett defines mattering as the sense that one is significant to others — noticed, important, and depended upon. Feeling that you matter predicts lower depression, higher engagement, and reduced suicidality across large observational samples. Anti-mattering — the sense of being invisible or a burden — is a stronger predictor of distress than simply lacking positive social connection.
4. Memento mori
   Keep death in view — not morbidly, but as a clarifier of what actually matters now.
   Stoicism, as a Set of Practices
5. Values clarification: what matters most to you?
   Identify 3–5 core values — not what you should value, but what actually matters when life is stripped back.
   Values-Based Action (ACT), Made Practical
6. Sort by importance before urgency
   Ask "does this matter for what I’m actually trying to achieve?" before asking "is this due soon?"
   The Eisenhower Matrix and Delegation
7. Let adversity reorder your priorities
   Use the clarity that hardship brings to permanently re-rank what actually matters to you.
   Benefit-Finding: Locating Meaning and Growth in Adversity
8. Serve in a context where your contribution is visible
   Volunteer, mentor, or help in a setting where the impact of your presence is tangible and direct.
   Mattering: Feeling Like You Count
9. Use mortality as a priority filter
   Ask: if I were significantly closer to the end, would I still care about this?
   Memento Mori: Using Mortality Awareness to Focus What Matters
10. Use the deathbed perspective to clarify what matters
    Imagine yourself at the end of your life looking back — and use that perspective to evaluate today’s choices.
    The Legacy Letter: Writing What You Want to Leave Behind

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